I was thinking again today about how big God is and I came to a realization of something. God really isn’t big. God is. He just is. Asking or trying to think of how big God is, is like asking how big is the wind. Think about it. Wind is everywhere, does that make it big? Wind can fit through a straw and yet cover the entire world at the same time. I can’t say the wind is big or small, it just is. God just is.
As I started to read more of Crazy Love, chapter 1 my thoughts were confirmed. Pastor Chan says that, “We don’t get to decide who God is. “God said to Moses, ‘I am who I am” (Ex 3:14).” He goes on to say that “God is eternal … God exists outside of time.” So God is who is he is and God is when he is. ha! God is …
I mentioned to someone today that we seem to walk in gray areas all the time. We don’t walk in black or white, right or wrong, everything seems to be so complicated by this and that, we choose the gray instead. We choose the shows we watch, the foods we eat, the habits we have, the relationships we keep, and if we are really honest with ourselves, they are all in gray areas. But I don’t think God sees the gray areas, everything seems to be black or white to him. It’s like the verse, and I don’t recall just where it is right now, that talks about being lukewarm and him spitting us out of his mouth, lukewarm is gray. Black is cold and white is hot. And the author in Crazy Love points out that we hide nothing from God, “he knows who we are and what we are about. We can not escape Him, not even if we want to.” He uses Hebrews 4:13 which says, “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eys of him to whom we must give account.” Wow! Account for every gray area I have chosen in my life. I may think I get away with bending the truth just a little without really lieing. I can trick myself into thinking that way, but the truth is that it lies in the gray area of lukewarm. Bending the truth just a little may not put me in the cold, black area, but it most definetly isn’t in the hot, white area. Isn’t it funny how we catorgorize that as a “white lie.” How appropriate, because we are lying to ourselves if we believer there is anything white about it! So what does that mean? SPIT!
Yet as untasty as I am to God, he still seeks me out. He still wants to know me and love me. Because I was created FOR him. It’s truly sad that I don’t live that way. If I did, I would stay in the hot, white areas. Most of the time the reason I fall into the gray areas is because of what someone else wants, or what someone else will think. But I’m not here FOR them now am I.
So now what? Pastor Chan points out that God is fair and just. “God is the only Being who is good, and the standards are set by Him. Because God hates sin, He has to punish those guilty of sin.” No gray areas there. God hates sin so much that he SENT, he didn’t just LET, he SENT, His son to be tortured, mocked, and beaten because of sin. MY sin, all my gray areas. I like to think I’m not too bad, I’m not in the dark areas so I’m not really sinning. I’m usually good, I stay in the white a lot and only just barely step out toward the black. My gray areas are more white than black. But God doesn’t have any gray areas. The author references a scripture that is interestingly appropriate here from Isaiah, “Woe is me … I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips …”
I agree with Pastor Chan, this is the way he ends this chapter:
“The appropriate way to end ths chapter is to the same way we began it – by standing in awed silence before a mighty, fearsom God, whose tremendous worth becomes even more apparent as we see our own puny selves in comparison.”
So, I sit in silence …