Crazy Love Journey – Chapter 1

I just started reading Crazy Love, a book by Francis Chan. You can check out his website at In his video on Chapter 1, he asks “What do you think when I write this in the sand?” And he writes the word “GOD”. He asks if it is just a common word and I have to honestly answer yes. I was raised in a Christian home and have never known a life without God. It really made me stop and think. It like walking to me. I don’t think about picking my leg up and putting my foot down. I just do it. I can walk while doing many other things at the same time. I just don’t give it much thought. But is that how God should be to me? Is that the place he really deserves in my life? Where is the awe factor of God?

Pastor Chan then suggests watching the video on his site called “Awe Factor.” I had seen this video before but never narrated. You know, I still can’t fathom it. I just can’t. My mind can’t fathom a God that can hold the earth in his hand. It is something to look at all the galaxies grouped together and being so large that our galaxy can’t even been seen! Our galaxy, not us, not earth, but our GALAXY is smaller than a grain of sand on the beach! The author is right, it makes me think, ‘Who DO I think I am’? I’m not even a grain of sand on the beach! I am as small the germs that are all over my body that I can’t see! I have to also say that it made me stop and think, how in the world does God even see me. How can he know what’s going on with me. How does he sift through all those grains of sand and find me? hmph! Why does he even WANT to?

Of course, that seems to be the same path the author took. Because next he proceeds to tell me about some other things God has done. He says that “a caterpillar has 228 separate and distinct muscles in its head!” WHAT! So now I have this picture of this huge God, holding the earth in the palm of his had, yet he puts 228 muscles in the head of a catapillar! {mind boggle} There are so many thing to look at in nature that if you take the time to truly look at them just boggles your mind. The author asks, “have you ever marveled at it?” Not really. Again, I’m just walking and doing what I have to do. It’s there, it’s always been there, always will. Yeah, I know the caterpillar will die, but I won’t know, I’ll see another one and won’t know the difference.

Yet how do I miss it? I do I miss what Psalm 19:1-4 talks about? It says the “heavens declare,” “skies proclaim,” “they pour forth speech,” “display knowledge,” “their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world,” all to speak about the glory of God. I have to say, I think I missed hearing their voices. Because I’m too busy walking …

Pastor Chan is right, there is “an epidemic of spiritual amnesia going around, and none of us is immune.” I haven’t given much thought about WHY I love God. Do I love God because I want to or because I know that it is the right thing to do, it’s what I’m supposed to do? I think it’s a little of both. But it’s almost like the difference between loving my parents and my husband. I love my parents, but I didnt pick them out, they were given to me. So, I love them because they are my parents. But my husband, I chose him, I picked him out. I don’t send cards, give gifts, hold hands with, dance close to my parents. I should send cards and stuff, but it’s different with the one I have chosen to love. I work at it more. I do things to make sure that my husband KNOWS I love him. But do I do that with God? Isn’t he someone I’ve supposedly chosen to love?

I asked my 14 year old son, how would it make you feel if when you made me something and brought it to me, I just said, “Thanks,” and threw it in the garbage? He said it would make him sad. Yet isn’t that just what I do most of the time with the things that God has given me. “Um, yeah, thanks.” Going on doing what I think I HAVE to do. Doesn’t God come to me and tug on my shirt, saying look what I’ve got for you. And don’t I just say, “In a minute honey,” like I know everyone has done from time to time with their kids. I think my priorities have been a little messed up. Like the author said in the begining. He thought he was a good person, a good Christian. He did all the things he was supposed to do and didn’t do the things he shouldn’t. But is that really what being a Christ follower is?

In my deep heart, what do I conceive God to be like? Hmmm … {thinking, sitting silently pondering} … I can think of many things to say like, Creator, Holy, blah blah blah. All those things I’ve been programmed to think of. But would I describe my husband like that, the one I have chosen to love? “Yeah, um, I love my husband because he is my husband, yeah, um, he’s a man, oh and he’s nice.” Now THAT would really convince someone I loved my husband – NOT! So, what do I conceive God to be like? Oh, I got it, ready, “God Is Love!” Yeah, I win. I got the right answer right? ha! Well, that is what came to my mind. But now that I have this pat answer, what does it mean? {thinking some more} I think … God is … that’s it. God is. God is love, God is caring, God is everywhere. God is in everything. God is my strength, my comforter, my healer, … God just is. I guess God is so big to me that I can’t fathom anything more than he is. It’s like the air, the air just is. It’s all around me and without it I would die. I can’t describe the air, it just IS. So, God is …

Of course, the author already thought of an answer like that. He wants to know the answers to questions like, “What are His characteristics? What are His defining attributes? How are we to fear Him? To speak to Him?” What is he really like?

Well, I’ll be reading more of the Crazy Love book later to see what Pastor Chan is going to open my eyes to next …

I know that I was created by God but never grasp the thought that I was created FOR God.


One thought on “Crazy Love Journey – Chapter 1

  1. You are so right, we do take God for granted. Yesterday we took communion at church. It really hit how people just went through the motions. When I went to the alter, and knelt down, I began to picture Jesus Christ, Gods only son hanging on a cross, suffering and dieing for me. The tears began to flow and I truly was in awe of the Love that God has for us.

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