Booking information August 27, 2009

For more information on booking Marcie Lynn for speaking engagements, check out her website at http://30days.info. Or download her Speaker’s Packet.

Country people … City people February 8, 2010

Just something I thought one day … Thought I’d share it here. Read it with humor the intent.

I don’t mean to put down any of you city people out there, because country people have many problems too. But being a country person moved to the city, I have observed some things that are interesting:

Country people grow up as part of a community
City people grow up dealing with a community.
Country people take time for people when they see them
City people are tired of seeing people all the time.
Country people are in everybody’s business keeping people in line
City people are taught to stay out of everybody’s business while standing in line.
Country people shoot people when they are doing something they shouldn’t
City people are shot by the people doing something they shouldn’t.
Country people ride buses to school and hope someone will notice their new shoes
City people walk to school and hope no one takes their new shoes
Country people drive many miles to go to churches which are few and far between
City people drive past many miles of churches, many right next door to each other
Country church people know what’s going on with individuals and a small group is formed to help them out
City church people already have small groups but don’t know what’s going on with the individuals in them
Country people leave their doors unlock in case a neighbor needs to get something
City people lock up their doors tight so a neighbor won’t take something
Country people see someone doing wrong and they call the person’s parents
City people see someone doing wrong and they call the police.
But I think the biggest difference is …
When country people look out their windows, they see God and what He has done
When city people look out their windows, they see man and what he has done.

Like I said at the beginning, country people have their problems too and could probably learn a few things from city people. But being a country person at heart, I can’t see those things. But right now, from where I sit, I’d gladly take the stink of the fresh country air (cow poo), than deal the poo that stinks up the city air. LOL

Hope it doesn’t offend anyone, just a country girls thoughts one day, missing home, family, and friends.

Who do they think they are … February 3, 2010

This is part 2 to “Self Righteous Judges …”

First, let’s just clear the air on what a “Self Righteous Judge” is.

According to Merriam-Webster Self-Righteous means:

convinced of one’s own righteousness especially in contrast with the actions and beliefs of others : narrow-mindedly moralistic (also look up righteousness)

And Judge means:

1 : to form an opinion about through careful weighing of evidence and testing of premises
2 : to sit in judgment on : try
3 : to determine or pronounce after inquiry and deliberation
4 : govern, rule —used of a Hebrew tribal leader
5 : to form an estimate or evaluation of; especially : to form a negative opinion about <shouldn’t judge him because of his accent>
6 : to hold as an opinion : guess, think <I judge she knew what she was doing>intransitive verb 1 : to form an opinion
2 : to decide as a judge

synonyms see infer

— judg·er noun

Hmmm interesting … So a Self-Righteous Judge would be someone who basically “has formed an opinion about [something] through careful weighing of evidence and testing of premises and is convinced they are acting in accord with divine or moral law, especially in contrast with the actions and beliefs of others.”

AAAAAHHH!!! A Self-Righteous Judge could also be known as … <hand over mouth, whispering> a Christian!

You know what else, I think the Bible is filled with Self-Righteous Judges, why, I nevah! <grin>

Now we are going to look at some scriptures, let’s hear what God has to say about those Self Righteous Judges. Is it Biblical? What about that tree in their eye? What would Jesus do?

Ok, let’s deal with the tree in the eye scripture in Matthew 7 (AMP):

¹DO NOT judge and criticize and condemn others, so that you may not be judged and criticized and condemned yourselves. ²For just as you judge and criticize and condemn others, you will be judged and criticized and condemned, and in accordance with the measure you [use to] deal out to others, it will be dealt out again to you. ³Why do you ^[a]stare from without at the ^[b]very small particle that is in your brother’s eye but do not become aware of and consider the beam ^[c]of timber that is in your own eye? ⁴Or how can you say to your brother, Let me get the tiny particle out of your eye, when there is the beam ^[d]of timber in your own eye? ⁵You hypocrite, first get the beam of timber out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the tiny particle out of your brother’s eye.

Ok, lets hop to the the last verse, verse 5. You see here that it says “AND THEN,” and then you will see clearly to take the tiny particle out of your brother’s eye. So it’s not wrong to try to take the speck out of a brother’s eye – it just important that we get the log out of ours first. So if you are going to confront someone on pornography, lying, cheating, stealing, etc, etc, make sure that you are not doing that very thing.

It also says in verse 2, with the very same measure, isn’t the Bible the measure for all Christians? If you are a Christian, don’t you know that you WILL be measured by what is in the Bible? Then that is the measure you should use. There is no where in the Bible where it says that something has to be this color, tied this way, served on this plate, wear this style, etc. So you can’t judge those things. If it isn’t in the Bible, you can’t judge it, period.

Now lets take a close look at that word “judge.” In this particular passage, Roberts Word Pictures describes the words used here:

“Judge not (mē krinete). The habit of censoriousness, sharp, unjust criticism. Our word critic is from this very word. It means to separate, distinguish, discriminate. That is necessary, but pre-judice (prejudgment) is unfair, captious criticism.”

John Gill writes:

This is not to be understood of any sort of judgment; … nor of every private judgment, which one man may make upon another, without any detriment to him; but of rash judgment, interpreting men’s words and deeds to the worst sense, and censuring them in a very severe manner; even passing sentence on them, with respect to their eternal state and condition.

Ok, so do we got that? If you’re a thief, you can’t call out another thief. And if you THINK someone is a thief, you can say something to them about it, but you can’t condemn or punish them just because of what you think. Same thing is meant in Luke 6 starting at verse 36; Romans 2; Romans 14, 1 Corinthians 4 (The censorious habit was ruining the Corinthian Church.).

I think the key here is to look for the right scriptures, because the Bible does not tell us to “judge” as we seem to think of the word judge today. The Bible call it ‘rebuke’ or ‘reprove.’  Rebuke which means to tax upon, that is, censure or admonish; by implication forbid: – (straitly) charge. Or convict which means: to confute, admonish: – convict, convince, tell a fault, rebuke, reprove. Interesting how the bible’s version of convict and our version of judge has kind of swapped meanings.

Luk 17:3 ^3[a]Pay attention and always be on your guard [looking out for one another]. If your brother sins (misses the mark), solemnly tell him so and reprove him, and if he repents (feels sorry for having sinned), forgive him.

2 Timonthy ^{– 2}Herald and preach the Word! Keep your sense of urgency [stand by, be at hand and ready], whether the opportunity seems to be favorable or unfavorable. [Whether it is convenient or inconvenient, whether it is welcome or unwelcome, you as preacher of the Word are to show people in what way their lives are wrong.] And convince them, rebuking and correcting, warning and urging and encouraging them, being unflagging and inexhaustible in patience and teaching.

2Timothy 3:16-17 All Scripture [is] God-breathed and [is] beneficial for teaching [or, doctrine], for verification [or, reproof], for correcting faults, for instruction in righteousness [or, the behavior that God requires], (17) so that the person of God shall be fully qualified [or, perfectly fit], having been completely equipped for every good work.

I think that pretty much sums it up.

Here’s where we have a problem when it comes to “Self-Righteous Judges.”

In 1 Corinthians 6 we are told to judge those in the church. But this is in a structured, open environment, where both parties have a chance to present their case, their evidence. We run into trouble when we don’t do these things somewhat “out in the open.” That doesn’t mean standing up in church and calling someone out. It doesn’t mean, talking to a group of people. It means, going straight to the person.

James 4 – ¹¹[My] brethren, do not speak evil about or accuse one another. He that maligns a brother or judges his brother is maligning and criticizing the Law and judging the Law. But if you judge the Law, you are not a practicer of the Law but a censor and judge [of it].

Ephesians 4 -³¹Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and slander (evil-speaking, abusive or blasphemous language) be banished from you, with all malice (spite, ill will, or baseness of any kind). ³²And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you.

1 Peter 2 – ¹SO BE done with every trace of wickedness (depravity, malignity) and all deceit and insincerity (pretense, hypocrisy) and grudges (envy, jealousy) and slander and evil speaking of every kind.

It’s important for these things not to become gossip or slander or backbiting. Don’t talk behind peoples backs. If you can’t say it to their face, maybe it’s better left unsaid.

We are even called to call ourselves out in James 5:

¹⁶Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart]. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working].

Another quick note, 1 Corinthians 5 says:

¹²What [business] of mine is it and what right have I to judge outsiders? Is it not those inside [the church] upon whom you are to pass disciplinary judgment [passing censuring sentence on them as the facts require]? ¹³God alone sits in judgment on those who are outside. Drive out that wicked one from among you [expel him from your church].

Judging, as the Bible describes it, is very similar to what our judges today do – it’s kind of like a conviction. They issue the sentencing. Many times, the trial verdict is not decided by the judge, only the sentence is. We are really not supposed to ever judge – in this definition of the word. Because if there is someone in the church doing something, this scripture tells us to send them out of the church, which then makes them part of the “outsiders.” We have to be careful in what we are really doing – no matter what we want to call it. There is a plan of action (see Matthew 18), go to the person, go to the person with 2 or 3 others, take the person to the church, then you come to the point that this scripture is talking about. You don’t just decide someone did something and throw them out.

What would Jesus do? Well, everyone likes to think of Jesus with the kid sitting on his lap, all nice and cuddly. But, let’s look at that scene for just a minute in Matthew 19 (AMP).

¹³Then little children were brought to Jesus, that He might put His hands on them and pray; but the disciples rebuked those who brought them. ¹⁴But He said, Leave the children alone! Allow the little ones to come to Me, and do not forbid or restrain or hinder them, for of such [as these] is the kingdom of heaven composed.

Was that a little bit of harshness in Jesus’s voice? Bet He didn’t seem so nice and cuddly to the disciples. Guess He sure did tell them, didn’t He? How about this one in Matthew 23 (NIV):

²⁹“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You build tombs for the prophets and decorate the graves of the righteous. ³⁰And you say, ‘If we had lived in the days of our forefathers, we would not have taken part with them in shedding the blood of the prophets.’ ³¹So you testify against yourselves that you are the descendants of those who murdered the prophets. ³²Fill up, then, the measure of the sin of your forefathers! ³³“You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell?

Did Jesus just call someone a name? And this is just the last of this multi-versed chewing out of the leading religious people of the day. And this one in Mark 9 (MSG):

^19-20Jesus said, “What a generation! No sense of God! How many times do I have to go over these things? How much longer do I have to put up with this? Bring the boy here.” They brought him. When the demon saw Jesus, it threw the boy into a seizure, causing him to writhe on the ground and foam at the mouth.

Do you hear the exasperation and frustration? Doesn’t He seem a little tired of the people not getting it?

You know, as you look at the “Great Commission” given to us by Jesus, I think He has already answered the question of, “Who do they think they are?” Let’s look at Matthew 28:

¹⁹Go then and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them ^[b]into the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰Teaching them to observe everything that I have commanded you, and behold, I am with you ^[c]all the days (^[d]perpetually, uniformly, and on every occasion), to the [very] close and consummation of the age. ^[e]Amen (so let it be).

Who do they think they are? They think they are the people told:

• To go into ALL the nations, that means everyone – everywhere – or maybe a better word would be anyone – that includes YOU and ME.
• To make disciples – the word there is mathēteusate, a pupil; transitively to disciple, that is, enroll as scholar: – be disciple, instruct, teach
• To baptize unto the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,
• To Teach observation of everything that Jesus have commanded – have to read the Bible to know what He commanded. So if it’s in the Bible, then we are to do it and teach it.
• To do all this with Jesus – which is through the Holy Spirit because He also tells us that the Holy Spirit is who he sent to help us. John 16:7

So, who do they think they are? They think they are who Jesus told them to be. Maybe they just haven’t gotten it all down just right, maybe they can be a little too direct (like Paul), a little confusing sometimes (like James), a little thick headed (like Peter), or a little too detailed (like Luke). Maybe they were a little harsh, called you a name, or was exasperate, frustrated, and a little tired (like Jesus). It’s just important to look at their fruits, see what their tree looks like, because only a good tree bears good fruit and only a tree planted in the best soil can do that. If they are rooted in God, then maybe, just maybe, you should take a little listen to what is being said. After all, I can assure you, some other tree has been looking at their fruit and is pruning them as well. What goes around comes around. <wink>

Oh, by the way, for all those Self Righteous Judges out there, you may want to take a look at this one, Please Pass the Salt

Self-Righteous Judges … February 3, 2010

How many times have I heard that phrase used? Just curious, how many times have you used that phrase yourself? Come on, even if you haven’t said it out loud, you know you thought it. Ok, how about this version of it, “Who does he/she think they are …?” Yeah, I thought that might get you.

Why do so many people, specifically Christians, shy away from being told they appear to be doing something wrong. Grant it, maybe the delivery of the ‘news’ isn’t done in the right way, or isn’t communicated just right, but shouldn’t we at least take a look at what is being addressed? Regardless of how it is said, who said it, or why it was said. I mean honestly, is it the WAY it was said, or WHAT was said that upset you the most? Or maybe it was really WHO said it? So the ‘who’ and the ‘way’ keep you from really hearing the ‘what.’

I hear so many people complaining about being judged. When I hear a Christian say something about it, I’d like to say to them, “Have you REALLY read the Bible???” The WHOLE thing is about judgment. Most of the New Testament is made up of judgment letters written to various peoples. If there was no judgment – there would be no Bible! Have you thought about that? No judgment – no Jesus either.

Yeah, I know, I know, that’s different, after all, it’s “the Bible.” It is God’s Word. Um, hate to break this to you, but the Bible was written by human hands. No, I am not saying that it wasn’t God inspired, written by God or anything of the sort. I’m just saying, it was a human hand, holding a quill, and writing on parchment. Oh, but those people were God’s ‘chosen’ people, they were ‘holy,’ they were ’special’. Once again, I’d like to say, “REALLY?? Are you serious?” You are going to tell me that Saul was a better person than some of the people you know today? Saul was a better person than that self-righteous judge that just spoke to you? I don’t think so. I think if we wanted to be honest with ourselves, Saul was worse than anyone you can think of that you know right now. But you see, Saul didn’t write most of the New Testament, PAUL did. The only difference between Saul and Paul was … the Holy Spirit – God!

Yeah, but that was different, I know. So, now you’re going to tell me that the Holy Spirit in the Bible is different than the Holy Spirit we have today? Once again, “REALLY???” Well, maybe it was, after all, look what He did for Saul/Paul, I’m sure that was a one time thing – NOT. Why is it so easy for us to accept what the likes of Saul/Paul says to us and yet we can not accept what someone we really know does? It IS the same Holy Spirit in them after all. Yeah, but they had a chance to actually listen to Jesus and knew exactly what He said.

Hmmm, you think so? First, although it’s easy to forget, Saul/Paul was NOT a disciple. He did not follow Jesus around. In fact, let’s go with the theory that they had a chance to actually listen to Jesus for a moment. Saul/Paul heard what Jesus said and decided to … KILL ANYONE WHO FOLLOWED HIM! He didn’t just want to kill Jesus, he killed Jesus’s followers. YOU – he would have killed you. Now if that isn’t a self-righteous judge then I don’t really know one.

And as far as actually listen to Jesus and knowing exactly what He said, we can do the same thing today. What? Yeah, we can do the EXACT same thing today – READ YOUR BIBLE. Isn’t that what the Bible is for? So if some self-righteous judge comes up to you, gives you a Bible verse, tells you that you are doing something contrary to the verse, gives you an example of your actions … Accept it – Acknowledge it – Change it. Now, if they are just spitting off stuff, with no verse to show you, and they can’t really say when they saw you go against that verse, then, tell them thanks, and just put it in the back of your mind just in case the same thing is brought up again by someone else. Don’t get all mad at them over it. Yeah, but, we aren’t supposed to judge others, you know, the whole stick, twig, log, tree in the eye verse.

Oh yeah, now there is a good defense. Got me there. Ah, well, really you don’t. Let me ask you something  … have you ever lead someone to Christ by pointing out that they are a sinner and they need saved? You did? Really? Awesome!! Praise God! Ok, now, I have another question … did you worry about the size of the piece of wood in your own eye first? I mean, really, you just told them they were the worst person in the world and they needed to be saved, you don’t think that is condemning? Ah, I know, that is different too right? After all, we were told by Jesus to go into all the world and preach the gospel.

So it’s ok for us to use the scriptures to save the non-Christians, but it’s not ok for a Christian to use the scriptures to ’save’ another Christian. And if we are a Christian, we can talk to the non-Christian even though we have a huge piece of wood stuck in our eye, because after all, it HAS to be much smaller than any tree that a non-Christian has. Oh, and it’s ok for a ‘Pastor,’ ‘Reverend,’ ‘Elder,’ etc to confront people because they are Christians with smaller pieced of tree stuck in their eye than most other Christians. Yeah, right, I’m not buying that one, sorry if you are.

Oh, I know, now you are thinking, “but you know, that person doesn’t really know the REAL me anyway”. Oh, so they know the FAKE you?? hmmm I guess that IS so much better that they are judging the FAKE you instead of the REAL you now isn’t it. You got me there. How about when it’s someone close to you and they tell you something about yourself that you really don’t like. Do you run to someone who isn’t as close to find out if they think the other person might be right? Awoh, so the person closest to you is probably judging the real you so you have to run to someone else who knows the fake you to make yourself feel better? Or does the person closest to you really only know the fake you, and the other people the real you? Ok, ok, this real and fake stuff is way to confusing. Here’s the hard question, why is there two of you anyway?? You think being fake hides you from all the ‘judges’ here on earth? You seem to have forgotten that God is the ultimate judge. I mean seriously, you DO KNOW that God sees all the yous there are right? So you can’t hide anything from him, you can’t fake him out, so if you feel the need to have a fake you, what do you think you are hiding?

Alright, I know there are just some people that go around and bad mouth everyone, so you can’t really listen to everyone and anyone. But that is why God said you would know His people by their fruit. You know, even on some of the best fruit trees in the world, there can be a rotten apple, or a worm or two in the fruit. God isn’t saying to pick each and every fruit and look at it. But if the tree has a whole lot of good fruit and just a few bad apples, then maybe that tree is worth listening too, even if it seems to be sticking right out of the person’s eye that’s talking to you. After all, we just love the phrase, “Takes one to know one,” don’t we? <grin>

Ok, I’m actually going to do this in two parts. I just want you to think about everything said here. I mean seriously think about it. Think about all your excuses for not accepting what people say about you. And then check out part number 2: Who do they think they are? — if you dare.  Mwwwahahaha

Rose Colored Glasses? January 25, 2010

“But these rose colored glasses,
that I’m looking through,
Show only the beauty,
cause they hide all the truth …”

Chorus of the song by John Conlee – Rose Colored Glasses

Isn’t it kind of funny how as we grow older, most of us end up needing some kind of reading glasses, or just denying that we do. Even people who have had perfect vision most of their lives rarely make it into their late 60 without needing reading glasses. When we put those glasses on, things up close are so much easier to see, of course, if we try to look through those same glasses at something far away, it is harder to see. It’s because reading glasses are basically mini-magnifying glasses.

Ever hear the saying “looking through rose colored glasses?” It basically means that a person looking at a situation through rose-colored glasses is making a conscious choice to accept or not accept certain realities. I guess if we need reading glasses but refuse to admit it, we are in essence, “looking through rose colored glasses.”

My question today is, are you wearing rose colored glasses when you take a look at yourself, close up?  When you take a look at the things you do, the way you live, the person you are, you’re Christian walk? Many of us choose to look through rose colored glasses. It’s so much more pleasant and requires a lot less work.

Some of us think we know where the rose tint came from. How about this phrase, “covered by the blood of Jesus?” Some of us think that because we are saved, we are covered for any sins we commit. All we have to do is ask for forgiveness, after all, we are only human, everyone sins, nobody’s perfect, etc.. Really? You know there are plenty of Bible verses that prove these statements as being in the wrong mindset. (2 Timothy 3:16-17, John 15:10-11, 2 Corinthians 5:15-16 and 20-21, Philippians 3:10-11, 1 Timothy 6:11)

Some of us think the changes we made when we first got saved and covered in the blood are good enough. “After all, I left everything and everyone to follow Jesus.” “I was really bad before, I’m nothing like I used to be.” Some of us say, “Well, I’ve always been a Christian, I’ve never done anything really wrong. I mean like no big sins. I’ve been a good person.” Some of us, well, we don’t even think about it, we just put the glasses on and walk on. We are good Christian people, we don’t really break any of the ten commandments, so, it’s all good.

Really? Here’s how we see our lives:

Looking through rose colored glasses

We don’t see anything. Everything looks nice and …. rosy. We think that just because we “become a Christian” we have no more work to do. But this isn’t really the truth, remember, we are looking through rose colored glasses. The truth is getting saved is just the beginning of all the work. There are plenty of things in the New Testament that Believers/Christ Followers are told NOT to do. If they are told not to do them, then it must be things that they were doing or wanted to do, right? So we as Christ Followers need to listen up to what they are telling us. There has to be at least one scripture that we need to work on, or else, we truly have become perfect, we’ve become … well … Christ. Do you really believe that of yourself?

Now, if we were to try and look at our lives on our own, we would have no idea what we were looking at. This is basically how a non-believer sees their life. It’s just life. Just a bunch of stuff going on, but nothing to really have to deal with. It might look something like this:

Our Habits Through Our Eyes

But you see, after we are saved, Christ’s blood DOES cover us. The blood gives us rose (blood covered) colored glasses, but these are not your typical rose colored glasses. Instead of blinding us, and making us think we are nice and rosy clean, these glasses open our eyes because were are given the Holy Spirit. With the blood of Christ, we are given MAGNIFIED (Holy Spirit) Rose Colored Glasses. These glasses help us see the things close up that we couldn’t see before. It’s like being given new eyes. They reveal to us those things we need to see. If we can’t seem to see them, he will send others to reveal those things to us. He will put scriptures in our path that will reveal those things to us. He will put us in places where we hear a speaker talking about things that we need to see. Here’s what we might see if we are willing to use those MAGNIFIED Rose  Colored Glasses (well, it would be a little more clearer than that, but I think you get the idea).

Through Magnified Rose Colored Glasses

My challenge to each of us is to pick up those magnified Rose Colored Glasses and see what God has to reveal to us. If we see nothing, then we need to find someone else and ask them, “What do you honestly see in my life that I need to change?” Or just admit that we ARE Christ revisited, I’m not too sure anyone wants to say that. Pray about what we are told and work on it. Don’t just know the scriptures, obey them.

Here’s a list of New Testament Sins by the instruction or consequence. Take time to prayerfully consider each and everyone. Another thing we Christians have done is deceive ourselves in what some of these sins really mean. We think, “Oh, I would never …” But if we examine the true meaning of that thing we would never do, we may find that we have a habit of doing it. Let me suggest a few for the “good person” to look at …

• How often do you take something that isn’t yours without consent? Stealing
• How often do you just wish someone would “get their’s?” Or think “it just isn’t fair, they …?” Envy
• How often do you find people be offended or offensive because of something you did or said? Hateful, Hatred
• How often do you find yourself saying something harmful about someone else. How about saying things that you are not sure are true? Abusive/Blasphemers
• How often do you try to “read into” something someone says or does? How often do you take offense or complain about something someone did without knowing why they really did it? Backbitting/Slander
• How often do you “snap” at people? Use a tone that is sharply disagreeable? Bitterness
• How often do you use “Oh my God,” or in text “omg?” How often do you use words that are really worthless, just to fill in the space? Corrupt Communication, Unwholesome Talk
• How often do you only tell half the truth or leave things out on purpose? Hypocrisy and Lying
• How competitive are you? Does it secretly bother you when someone else wins? Jealousy, Envy
• How often do you break the law, I mean laws of the government? Even the little ones. Do you feel bad about breaking them or are you okay with it? Maliciousness or Faithless, Covenant Breakers, Untrustworthy
• How often do you find that you don’t do what you said you would, or break agreements you have made? Ruthless, Implacable, Unforgiving
• How often do you forget to say thank you? Unthankful, Ungrateful
• How often do you throw out insults? Call people names? How often do other’s find you to be rude in your words or actions? How often do you do what you want, just because you want to? Insolent, despiteful
• How much do you worry? How often are you fearful or afraid? Fearful, Cowardly

It’s a challenge … are you going to pick up the Magnified Rose Colored Glasses?

NT Sins by Instruction or Consequence January 25, 2010

Sins from the heart that defile

• Adultery (G3430) = extramarital sex that willfully and maliciously interferes with marriage relations (Matthew 15:18-20); Mark 7:21-23) (Web definition of sex: activities associated with sexual intercourse; either of the two categories (male or female) into which most organisms are divided; arouse: stimulate sexually; all of the feelings resulting from the urge to gratify sexual impulses)
• Arrogance, pride (G4253) = haughtiness, a superior manner toward inferiors, unreasonable and inordinate self-esteem, appearing above others in a blatant manner: without any attempt at concealment (Mark 7:21-23)
• Deceit (G1388) = decoy, trick (bait), craft, guile, subtlety (Mark 7:21-23)
• Envy, Evil thoughts (kakos G2556 w/1261) = worthless, depraved, injurious, bad, evil, harm, ill, noisome, wicked; discussion, consideration, debate, imagination, reasoning (Mark 7:21-23)
• Evil Thoughts (G4190 w/1261) = hurtful, vicious, mischief, malice, harm, lewd; discussion, consideration, debate, imagination, reasoning (Matthew 15:18-20)
• False Testimony (G5577) = False testimony, False Witness  (Matthew 15:18-20)
• Folly, Foolishness (G877) = senselessness, egotism (motivation to maintain and enhance favorable views of self, self-centered person), recklessness (defiant disregard for danger or consequences), mindless (not marked by the use of reason, Showing a lack of forethought or sense) (Mark 7:21-23)
• Fornication, Sexual immorality (porneia G4202) = harlotry, incest; figuratively practice idolatry, indulge unlawful lust (Matthew 15:18-20); Mark 7:21-23)
• Greed, Covetousness (G4124) = fraudulency, extortion, eager for gain, immoderately desirous of acquiring (Mark 7:21-23)
• Lewdness, Lasciviousness, Flagrant, Sexual Immorality, Debauchery (G766) = filthy, lasciviousness, wantonness, feeling morbid sexual desire, driven by lust; preoccupied with or exhibiting lustful desire (Mark 7:21-23)
• Malice, Wickedness (ponēria G4189) = corruption: moral perversion, impairment of virtue and moral principles, malice, feeling a need to see others suffer (Mark 7:21-23)
• Murder (G5408) = kill (Matthew 15:18-20; Mark 7:21-23)
• Sexually Immoral, Fornicators (pornos G4205) = a (male) prostitute (as venal [the fact or state of being for sale, especially with reference to bribes or corruption]), that is, (by analogy) a debauchee (libertine), whoremonger. (Matthew 15:18-20)
• Slander, Blasphemies (blasphēmia G988) = evil speaking, railing, especially against God, harmful and often untrue; tending to discredit or malign against man, lacking reverence or respect for God (Matthew 15:18-20); Mark 7:21-23)
• Stealing (kleptō G2813) = take without the owner’s consent (Matthew 15:18-20); Mark 7:21-23)
• Theft (G2829) = stealing, take without the owner’s consent (Matthew 15:18-20); Mark 7:21-23)

Believers are saved from

• Deceived (G4105) = go astray, deceive, err, seduce, wander, be out of the way. (Titus 3:3-5)
• Disobedient (G545) = unpersuadable, wilfully obstinate; stubbornly disobedient, rebelliously (Titus 3:3-5)
• Envy (G5355) = ill will (as detraction), jealousy (spite) (Titus 3:3-5)
• Evil Concupiscence, Evil Desires (G1939) = a longing (especially for what is forbidden) (Titus 3:3-5)
• Foolish (G453) = unintelligent; by implication sensual, unwise (Titus 3:3-5)
• Hateful (stugnētos G4767) = Odious (detestably: in an offensive and hateful manner; causing dislike, displeasure), offensiveness: the quality of being offensive (Titus 3:3-5)
• Hating One Another (miseō G3404) = to detest (especially to persecute); by extension to love less (Titus 3:3-5)
• Maliciousness (kakia G2549) = badness, depravity, malignity, trouble, evil, naughtiness, worthless, depraved, injurious, bad, evil, harm, ill, noisome, wicked; wickedness that is not ashamed to break laws (Titus 3:3-5)
• Serving Pleasures (G2237) = lust, sensual delight; by implication desire (Titus 3:3-5)

Unsaved live and believers should not live

• Greed, Covetousness (G4124) = fraudulency, extortion, eager for gain, immoderately desirous of acquiring (Ephesians 4:17-19)
• Impurity / Uncleanness (G167) = the quality of, physically or morally (Ephesians 4:17-19)
• Lewdness, Lasciviousness, Flagrant, Sexual Immorality, Debauchery (G766) = filthy, lasciviousness, wantonness, feeling morbid sexual desire, driven by lust; preoccupied with or exhibiting lustful desire) (Ephesians 4:17-19)

Sins of the flesh in which believers no longer live

• Banqueting, Carousing (potos G4224) = a drinking bout, drinking parties (1 Peter 4:2-4)
• Dissipation, riot (G810) = Unsavedness (1 Peter 4:2-4)
• Drunkenness, excess of wine (oinophlugia G3632) = an overflow (or surplus) of wine (1 Peter 4:2-4)
• Evil Concupiscence, Evil Desires (G1939) = a longing (especially for what is forbidden) (1 Peter 4:2-4)
• Idolatry (G1495) = image worship (1 Peter 4:2-4)
• Lewdness, Lasciviousness, Flagrant, Sexual Immorality, Debauchery (G766) = filthy, lasciviousness, wantonness, feeling morbid sexual desire, driven by lust; preoccupied with or exhibiting lustful desire) (1 Peter 4:2-4)
• Orgies, Rioting, Reveilings (G2970) = a carousal (as if a letting loose), a wild gathering involving excessive drinking and promiscuity, a state of disorder involving group violence, celebrate noisily, often indulging in drinking; engage in uproarious festivities, disturbing the peace) (1 Peter 4:2-4)

Believers can not do / must lay aside / must put off / turn away from /

• Abusive, Blasphemers (blasphēmos G989) = harmful and often untrue; tending to discredit or malign against man, lacking reverence or respect for God (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
• Anger (orgē G3709) = violent passion (ire, or [justifiable] abhorrence (hate coupled with disgust ); by implication punishment: – indignation, vengeance, wrath (belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong) (Colossians 3:8-9; Ephesians 4:25, 28-31)
• Arrogance, Swellings, Conceit (G5450) = haughtiness (a superior manner toward inferiors) (2 Corinthians 12:20-21)
• Arrogant, proud (G5244) = haughtiness, a superior manner toward inferiors (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
• Backbiting, Slander (katalalia G2636) = defamation – a false accusation of an offense or a malicious misrepresentation of someone’s words or actions (2 Corinthians 12:20-21, 1 Peter 2:1)
• Bitterness (pikria G4088) = acridity – the quality of being sharply disagreeable in language or tone (Ephesians 4:25, 28-31)
• Boasters, Boastful (G213) = braggart, exhibiting self-importance (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
• Clamor, brawling (kraugē G2906) = an outcry (in notification, tumult or grief, shout louder than, the act of making a noisy disturbance) (Ephesians 4:25, 28-31)
• Corrupt Communication, Unwholesome Talk (G4550 W/3056) = rotten, that is, worthless (literally or morally); something said (including the thought) (Ephesians 4:25, 28-31)
• Deceit (G1388) = decoy, trick (bait), craft, guile, subtlety (1 Peter 2:1)
• Despisers Of Those That Are Good (G865) = hostile to virtue (the quality of doing what is right and avoiding what is wrong) (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
• Disobedient (G545) = unpersuadable, wilfully obstinate; stubbornly disobedient, rebelliously  (to parents) (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
• Disorder, Tumults (G181) = instability, commotion, confusion (2 Corinthians 12:20-21)
• Envy (G5355) = ill will (as detraction), jealousy (spite) (1 Peter 2:1)
• Evil Concupiscence, Evil Desires (G1939) = a longing (especially for what is forbidden) (Colossians 3:5-6)
• Falsehood, Lying (G5579) = Untruth (Ephesians 4:25, 28-31)
• Fearful, Cowardly (G1169) = Faithless (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
• Fierce, Brutal (G434) = savage, marked by extreme and violent energy (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
• Filthy language / Filthy communication (G148) = vile conversation, morally low; base; despicable (Colossians 3:8-9)
• Fornication, Sexual immorality (porneia G4202) = harlotry, incest; figuratively practice idolatry, indulge unlawful lust (Colossians 3:5-6; 2 Corinthians 12:20-21)
• Gossip, Whispering (psithurismos G5587) = secret detraction (the act of discrediting or detracting from someone’s reputation) (2 Corinthians 12:20-21)
• Greed, Covetousness (G4124) = fraudulency, extortion, eager for gain, immoderately desirous of acquiring (Colossians 3:5-6)
• Heady, rash (G4312) = foolhardy: marked by defiant disregard for danger or consequences, (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
• Heartless, Without Natural Affection (G794) = hard hearted towards kindred (A group of related persons) (Romans 1:29-32)
• High minded, conceited (G5187) = to inflate with self conceit, having an exaggerated sense of self-importance (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
• Hypocrisy (G5272) = acting under a false part, condemnation, dissimulation, form of deception in which one conceals the truth  (1 Peter 2:1)
• Idolatry (G1495) = image worship (Colossians 3:5-6)
• Impurity / Uncleanness (G167) = the quality of, physically or morally (Colossians 3:5-6; 2 Corinthians 12:20-21)
• Incontinent (G193) = powerless, that is, without self control (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
• Jealousy, Envy (G2205) = zealous vigilance, Bitterly or enviously competitive (Romans 13:13-14; 2 Corinthians 12:20-21)
• Lewdness, Lasciviousness, Flagrant, Sexual Immorality, Debauchery (G766) = filthy, lasciviousness, wantonness, feeling morbid sexual desire, driven by lust; preoccupied with or exhibiting lustful desire) (Romans 13:13-14; 2 Corinthians 12:20-21)
• Lovers of Money, Covetous (G5366) = immoderately desirous of acquiring e.g. wealth (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
• Lovers Of Pleasure More Than God (G5369) = voluptuous, desires (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
• Lovers Of Themselves (G5367) = fond of self, that is, selfish (the precedence given in thought or deed to the self, self interest, self concern (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
• Lust, Inordinate affection (G3806) = Excessive; unreasonable or inappropriate in magnitude sexual desire: a desire for sexual intimacy (Colossians 3:5-6)
• Lying (G5574) = to utter an untruth or attempt to deceive by falsehood (Colossians 3:8-9)
• Maliciousness (kakia G2549) = badness, depravity, malignity, trouble, evil, naughtiness, worthless, depraved, injurious, bad, evil, harm, ill, noisome, wicked; wickedness that is not ashamed to break laws (1 Peter 2:1; Colossians 3:8-9; Ephesians 4:25, 28-31)
• Ruthless, Implacable, Unforgiving (G786) = literally without libation (which usually accompanied a treaty), truceless: truce-breaker (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
• Sexual Immorality, Chambering (koitē G2845) = Couch; cohabitation; by implication the male sperm (Romans 13:13-14)
• Slander, Blasphemies (blasphēmia G988) = evil speaking, railing, especially against God, harmful and often untrue; tending to discredit or malign against man, lacking reverence or respect for God (Ephesians 4:25, 28-31; Colossians 3:8-9)
• Slanderous, False Accusers (diabolos G1228) = a traducer (one who attacks the reputation of another by slander or libel); specifically Satan (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
• Stealing (kleptō G2813) = take without the owner’s consent (Ephesians 4:25, 28-31)
• Strife, Debate, Bitter Conflict, Dissension, Discord (G2054) = quarrel, wrangling (haggle: an instance of intense argument as in bargaining), contention (controversy) (Romans 13:13-14; 2 Corinthians 12:20-21)
• Strife, Selfish Ambition (G2052) = provoke contention (controversy) (2 Corinthians 12:20-21)
• Traitors, treacherous (G4273) = a surrender, betrayer (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
• Unholy (anosios G462) = wicked, not properly right (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
• Unthankful, Ungrateful (G884) = not feeling or showing gratitude, no appreciation (2 Timothy 3:1-5)
• Wrath, Fits Of Rage (thumos G2372) = passion (as if breathing hard): – fierceness, indignation, passion, angry, heat, anger forthwith boiling up and soon subsiding again (Colossians 3:8-9; 2 Corinthians 12:20-21; Ephesians 4:25, 28-31)

Must not exist among believers

• Foolish Talking (mōrologia G3473) = silly talk, that is, buffoonery (A jester, joker, jokester, fool, wit-cracker) (Ephesians 5:3-4)
• Fornication, Sexual immorality (porneia G4202) = harlotry, incest; figuratively practice idolatry, indulge unlawful lust (Ephesians 5:3-4)
• Greed, Covetousness (G4124) = fraudulency, extortion, eager for gain, immoderately desirous of acquiring (Ephesians 5:3-4)
• Impurity / Uncleanness (G167) = the quality of, physically or morally (Ephesians 5:3-4)
• Jesting, Coarse Joking (eutrapelia G2160) = witticism, pleasantry, humor, facetiousness (playful humor), that is, (in a vulgar sense) ribaldry (Joking or humorous language done in a vulgar or lewd fashion, (Ephesians 5:3-4)
• Obscenity / Filthiness (aischrotēs G151) = shamefulness (an offensive or indecent word or phrase) (Ephesians 5:3-4)

Believers should not associate even with anyone who calls himself a brother in Christ

• Drunkard (methusos G3183) = tipsy (slightly intoxicated), a sot (a chronic drinker) (1 Corinthians 5:9-11)
• Greedy, Covetous (G4123) = holding (desiring) more, eager for gain (1 Corinthians 5:9-11)
• Idolater (G1496) = an image (servant or) worshipper (literally or figuratively) (1 Corinthians 5:9-11)
• Sexually Immoral, Fornicators (pornos G4205) = a (male) prostitute (as venal [the fact or state of being for sale, especially with reference to bribes or corruption]), that is, (by analogy) a debauchee (libertine), whoremonger. (1 Corinthians 5:9-11)
• Slanderer, Railer (loidoros G3060) = abusive, reviler (Whilst oral communication is the most common form of verbal abuse, it includes abusive words in written form.), Verbal abuse involving the use of language. It is a form of profanity in that it can occur with or without the use of expletives (a word or phrase conveying no independent meaning but added to fill out a sentence) (1 Corinthians 5:9-11)
• Swindler, Extortioner (G727) = rapacious, ravening, excessively greedy and grasping (1 Corinthians 5:9-11)

Brings the wrath of God / Bring judgment from God

• Arrogant, proud (G5244) = haughtiness, a superior manner toward inferiors (Romans 1:29-32)
• Boasters, Boastful (G213) = braggart, exhibiting self-importance (Romans 1:29-32)
• Deceit (G1388) = decoy, trick (bait), craft, guile, subtlety (Romans 1:29-32)
• Disobedient (G545) = unpersuadable, wilfully obstinate; stubbornly disobedient, rebelliously (to parents) (Romans 1:29-32)
• Envy (G5355) = ill will (as detraction), jealousy (spite) (Romans 1:29-32)
• Evil Concupiscence, Evil Desires (G1939) = a longing (especially for what is forbidden) (Colossians 3:5-6)
• Faithless, Covenant Breakers, Untrustworthy (G802) = breaking or violation of an agreement between two or more parties (Romans 1:29-32)
• Fornication, Sexual immorality (porneia G4202) = harlotry, incest; figuratively practice idolatry, indulge unlawful lust (Colossians 3:5-6; Romans 1:29-32)
• God Haters (theostugēs G2319) = impious, lacking reverence or respect for God (Romans 1:29-32)
• Gossips, Whisperers (psithuristēs G5588) = a secret calumniator (charge falsely or with malicious intent; attack the good name and reputation of someone, To make hurtful untrue comments about someone (Romans 1:29-32)
• Greed, Covetousness (G4124) = fraudulency, extortion, eager for gain, immoderately desirous of acquiring (Colossians 3:5-6; Romans 1:29-32)
• Greedy, Covetous (G4123) = holding (desiring) more, eager for gain (Ephesians 5:5-6)
• Heartless, Without Natural Affection (G794) = hard hearted towards kindred (A group of related persons) (Romans 1:29-32)
• Idolater (G1496) = an image (servant or) worshipper (literally or figuratively) (Ephesians 5:5-6)
• Idolatry (G1495) = image worship (Colossians 3:5-6)
• Impure, Unclean (G169) = impure (ceremonially, morally (lewd) or specifically (demonic) (Ephesians 5:5-6)
• Impurity / Uncleanness (G167) = the quality of, physically or morally  (Colossians 3:5-6; Ephesians 5:5-6)
• Insolent, despiteful (hubristēs G5197) = an insulter, maltreater, injurious, insulting in manner or words; rude, inclined to take liberties, bold behavior or attitude, to think or feel or do just as one pleases (Romans 1:29-32)
• Inventors of evil (G2182) = Contriver, planner of evil (Romans 1:29-32)
• Lust, Inordinate affection (G3806) = Excessive; unreasonable or inappropriate in magnitude sexual desire: a desire for sexual intimacy (Colossians 3:5-6)
• Malice, Evil Dispositions (kakoētheia G2550) = bad character, that is, (specifically) mischievousness (reckless or malicious behavior that causes discomfort or annoyance in others ), malignity (wishing evil to others) (Romans 1:29-32)
• Malice, Wickedness (ponēria G4189) = corruption: moral perversion, impairment of virtue and moral principles, malice, feeling a need to see others suffer (Romans 1:29-32)
• Maliciousness (kakia G2549) = badness, depravity, malignity, trouble, evil, naughtiness, worthless, depraved, injurious, bad, evil, harm, ill, noisome, wicked; wickedness that is not ashamed to break laws (Romans 1:29-32)
• Murder (G5408) = kill (Romans 1:29-32)
• Ruthless, Implacable, Unforgiving (G786) = literally without libation (which usually accompanied a treaty), truceless: truce-breaker (Romans 1:29-32)
• Senseless, Without Understanding, Unintelligent, Foolish (G801) = not marked by the use of reason, serving no useful purpose (Romans 1:29-32)
• Sexually Immoral, Fornicators (pornos G4205) = a (male) prostitute (as venal [the fact or state of being for sale, especially with reference to bribes or corruption]), that is, (by analogy) a debauchee (libertine), whoremonger. (Ephesians 5:5-6)
• Slanderers, Backbitters (katalalos G2637) = talkative against, to talk, that is, utter words: – preach, say, speak (after), talk, tell, utter someone (Romans 1:29-32)
• Strife, Debate, Bitter Conflict, Dissension, Discord (G2054) = quarrel, wrangling (haggle: an instance of intense argument as in bargaining), contention (controversy) (Romans 1:29-32)
• Wickedness / Unrighteousness (adikia G93) = mindless (not marked by the use of reason, Showing a lack of forethought or sense),  stupid (dazed: in a state of mental numbness), ignorant (uneducated in general; lacking knowledge or sophistication, unaware because of a lack of relevant information or / a deed violating law and justice, act of unrighteousness (Romans 1:29-32)

Prevents access to the tree of life

• Falsehood, Lying (G5579) = Untruth (Revelations 22:14)
• Idolater (G1496) = an image (servant or) worshipper (literally or figuratively) (Revelations 22:14)
• Murders (G5406) = a murderer (always of criminal [or at least intentional] homicide (Revelations 22:14)
• Sexually Immoral, Fornicators (pornos G4205) = a (male) prostitute (as venal [the fact or state of being for sale, especially with reference to bribes or corruption]), that is, (by analogy) a debauchee (libertine), whoremonger. (Revelations 22:14)

Prevents entrance to Kingdom of God

• Abusers Of Themselves With Mankind (G733) = sodomite – someone who engages in anal copulation (especially a male who engages in anal copulation with another male) (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
• Adulterer (G3432) = a (male) paramour (An illicit lover) figuratively apostate, metaphorically one who is faithless toward God, ungodly (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
• Adultery (G3430) = extramarital sex that willfully and maliciously interferes with marriage relations (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
• Dissensions, Seditions (G1370) = disunion, that is, (figuratively) dissension: – division (Galatians 5:19-21)
• Drunkard (methusos G3183) = tipsy (slightly intoxicated), a sot (a chronic drinker) (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
• Drunkenness (methē G3178) = intoxication, stupefied or excited by a chemical substance (Galatians 5:19-21)
• Effeminate (G3120) = To make womanly; to unman; Having behavior or mannerisms considered typical of a woman or girl; feminine; figuratively a catamite, (a boy who submits to a sexual relationship with a man) (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
• Envy (G5355) = ill will (as detraction), jealousy (spite) (Galatians 5:19-21)
• Factions / Heresies (G139) = party or sect, dissensions arising from diversity of opinions and aims, a body of men following their own tenets (Galatians 19:21)
• Fearful, Cowardly (G1169) = Faithless (Galatians 5:19-21)
• Fornication, Sexual immorality (porneia G4202) = harlotry, incest; figuratively practice idolatry, indulge unlawful lust (Galatians 5:19-21)
• Greedy, Covetous (G4123) = holding (desiring) more, eager for gain (1 Corinthians 6:9-10; Ephesians 5:5-6)
• Hatred (echthra G2189) = hostility; by implication a reason for opposition: – enmity (a state of deep-seated ill-will) (Galatians 5:19-21)
• Idolater (G1496) = an image (servant or) worshipper (literally or figuratively) (1 Corinthians 6:9-10; Ephesians 5:5-6)
• Idolatry (G1495) = image worship (Galatians 5:19-21)
• Impure, Unclean (G169) = impure (ceremonially, morally (lewd) or specifically (demonic) (Ephesians 5:5-6)
• Impurity / Uncleanness (G167) = the quality of, physically or morally (Galatians 19:21; Ephesians 5:5-6)
• Jealousy, Envy (G2205) = zealous vigilance, Bitterly or enviously competitive (Galatians 19:21)
• Lewdness, Lasciviousness, Flagrant, Sexual Immorality, Debauchery (G766) = filthy, lasciviousness, wantonness, feeling morbid sexual desire, driven by lust; preoccupied with or exhibiting lustful desire) (Galatians 5:19-21)
• Murder (G5408) = kill (Galatians 5:19-21)
• Orgies, Rioting, Reveilings (G2970) = a carousal (as if a letting loose), a wild gathering involving excessive drinking and promiscuity, a state of disorder involving group violence, celebrate noisily, often indulging in drinking; engage in uproarious festivities, disturbing the peace) (Galatians 5:19-21)
• Sexually Immoral, Fornicators (pornos G4205) = a (male) prostitute (as venal [the fact or state of being for sale, especially with reference to bribes or corruption]), that is, (by analogy) a debauchee (libertine), whoremonger. (1 Corinthians 6:9-10; Ephesians 5:5-6)
• Slanderer, Railer (loidoros G3060) = abusive, reviler (Whilst oral communication is the most common form of verbal abuse, it includes abusive words in written form.), Verbal abuse involving the use of language. It is a form of profanity in that it can occur with or without the use of expletives (a word or phrase conveying no independent meaning but added to fill out a sentence) (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
• Strife, Debate, Bitter Conflict, Dissension, Discord (G2054) = quarrel, wrangling (haggle: an instance of intense argument as in bargaining), contention (controversy) (Galatians 5:19-21)
• Strife, Selfish Ambition (G2052) = provoke contention (controversy) (Galatians 5:19-21)
• Swindler, Extortioner (G727) = rapacious, ravening, excessively greedy and grasping (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
• Thieves, A Stealer (kleptēs G2812) = Someone who steals, take without the owner’s consent (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
• Witchcraft (G5331) = medication (potions), by extension magic, sorcery (Galatians 5:19-21)
• Wrath, Fits Of Rage (thumos G2372) = passion (as if breathing hard): – fierceness, indignation, passion, angry, heat, anger forthwith boiling up and soon subsiding again (Galatians 5:19-21)

Condemn to the lake of fire

• Fearful, Cowardly (G1169) = Faithless (Revelations 21:8)
• Idolater (G1496) = an image (servant or) worshipper (literally or figuratively) (Revelations 21:8)
• Liars (pseudēs G5571) = untrue, that is, erroneous, deceitful, wicked, false (Revelations 21:8)
• Murders (G5406) = a murderer (always of criminal [or at least intentional] homicide (Revelations 21:8)
• Sexually Immoral, Fornicators (pornos G4205) = a (male) prostitute (as venal [the fact or state of being for sale, especially with reference to bribes or corruption]), that is, (by analogy) a debauchee (libertine), whoremonger. (Revelations 21:8)
• Sorcerers, Those Who Practice Magic Arts (G5332; 5333) = a druggist (“pharmacist”) or poisoner, that is, (by extension) a magician: – sorcerer. (Revelations 21:8)
• Unbelieving (G571) = (actively) disbelieving, that is, without Christian faith (specifically a heathen); (passively) untrustworthy (person), or incredible (thing): – that believeth not, faithless, incredible thing, infidel (Revelations 21:8)
• Vile, Abominable (G948) = to be disgusted, that is, (by implication) detest (especially of idolatry): – abhor (Revelations 21:8)

Relationship Planning January 19, 2010

So our Pastor asked us to consider four questions this week.

1. What relationship needs to be initiated?
2. What relationship needs to be nurtured?
3. What relationship needs to be restored?
4. What relationship needs to be severed?

I’m finding these to be some thought provoking and interesting questions.

What relationship needs to be initiated?

In considering this question, he suggested two scriptures. I like the Message version of Ecclesiastes 4:9-10:

^9-10 It’s better to have a partner than go it alone.
Share the work, share the wealth.
And if one falls down, the other helps,
But if there’s no one to help, tough!

Guess that gets right to the point now doesn’t it? lol The other verse is Luke 6:13:

When morning came, he called his disciples to him and chose twelve of them, whom he also designated apostles: (NIV)

I’m picturing a scene where people are waiting to be picked for a team. Pick me, pick me! Never noticed before that “he called his disciples to him …” So wasn’t it really like that? He called everyone that had been his pupils (that’s what the word for disciple means) together and then picked twelve of them for his team. His leadership team. The word apostles means ambassador, representative of Jesus Christ, the King of kings, and Saviour of the world. Whoa! Maybe people weren’t raising their hand saying, ‘Pick me, pick me!”

Anyway. So Jesus had a leadership team. A selected few he let get really close to him. So who do I need to give that to in my life? I think the real question is more, ‘Who am I WILLING to give that to?’ I mean, look at what some of those that Jesus chose did to him. Someone that close can hurt me because I have become so vulnerable. This is really a serious question which will require quite a bit of prayer. I am still pondering and praying over this one.

What relationship needs to be nurtured?

For this question, he suggested consideration of Galatians 5:13-15:

It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don’t use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that’s how freedom grows. For everything we know about God’s Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That’s an act of true freedom. If you bite and ravage each other, watch out—in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then? (MSG)

I looked into these scriptures and you know what, I think the interpreters of the Bible were way to easy on us at times. You know that word ’serve,’ the real word, ‘douleuō’ means, “to be a slave to (literally or figuratively, involuntarily or voluntarily): – be in bondage, (do) serve (-ice).” WHAT?? Wait a minute, so this verse tells us that we were set FREE to be a SLAVE?? Interesting isn’t it? And get this one, did you notice that it said voluntarily or INvoluntarily? I’m not really liking this verse too much. lol And to top it all off, I could end up being a FREE INvoluntary SLAVE, but I have to do it all IN LOVE?? Yeah, so, THAT seems impossible to me. But that is where God comes in. As my pastor pointed out, this was written to Christians. It could be missed using the Message version but actually it is right there. In the NIV it starts off with “my brothers,” which the MSG version wrote out as, “God has called you.” You see, if you don’t have a relationship with God, then none of the rest of this verse is possible.

Anyway, so considering relationships to be nurtured. Well, I know I have a servant heart. I would do just about anything for anyone. So, not to pat myself on the back, but I think I can get the whole serve thing down. And MOST of the time, I can do it with a glad heart and out of love, not mine, but Christs. But this question is actually a really big one to me., because if I were to be brutally honest with myself, I don’t do much nurturing of relationships. I’m not one to make phone calls, plan get togethers, remember birthdays, etc. Call me up and ask me to do something for ya, and I am right there, for hours and days if you need me. But I just don’t seem to be the one that calls up and says, “Hey, you need anything?” or “Hey, you want to hang out sometime this week?” I might send an email to ya though, but I get that isn’t the same. So, I guess THIS question might be taking me some work since I would have to count almost any relationship I have as needing to be nurtured. hmmm

What relationship needs to be restored?

For this one, we looked at Colossians 3:13:

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

But you know what, this chapter is so full of information, you MUST read it all, check it out in the MSG version (use your back button to come back here), Galatians 3

So, did you see all the things we are supposed to do? Whoa, once again. This chapter is a sermon in and of it’s self. Of course, we should know what’s coming when it starts out with “So if you’re serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it.”

Anyway, back to verse 13. That word ‘bear’, it means “put up with.” The word ‘forgive,’ means “grant a favor to.’ The word ‘grievances,’ means ‘blame or fault.’  Mixed with the word ‘against,’ it means someone you blame or fault someone for something.

So what I got from this is, if you have a problem with someone, do them a favor (and yourself) and put up with it, just like Christ put up with all your junk. uuhhmmm

The other scripture we looked at for this one was Romans 12:17-18:

Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. ¹⁸ Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. (NLT)

What? Evil? I don’t really think I know anyone that would be EEVIILL. But, lets just see what that word really means. The word ‘evil,’ means, “worthless in nature,” “not such as it ought to be,” “of a mode of thinking, feeling, acting,” “harmful.” AHH! Oh no, the “worthless in nature,” part kind of got me, and I’m guessing you as well. Yep, I’ve done that a few times, repaid what someone has done to me with something worthless in nature. How about this one, someone has cut me off on the road, and I throw my hands up in the air (not making any gestures here) and called them an idiot. If only that was the only thing, huh. Oh, I’m sure we can all come up with worse than that, especially things we’ve done to those we love the most.

You know what struck me with this one, it says, “everyone can see.” You know, we’d like to think that we shouldn’t care what other people think of us, but maybe we should, in a balanced way. That word ‘honorable,’ means properly beautiful, but chiefly (figuratively) good (literally or morally), that is, valuable or virtuous.” So we should look like that to everyone. Oh, do I need to point out that the word ‘everyone,’ means ‘all, any, every, the whole?’ Um, I think that covers anyone that you were trying to not cover, <grin>.

Let’s skip to ‘peace,’ exactly what does peace mean? The original Greek word means, peace. That didn’t help much so I went to a regular dictionary, and the definition for peace is “harmonious relations; freedom from disputes” or “the state prevailing during the absence of war.” So really, this doesn’t have to be that difficult, at least, if you don’t live with the person.

Ahhh BUT, here is our escape clause, in the NIV it says, “If it is possible …” Whew, well then, that’s a big IF. And possible, well thank you for that one, because I just know I can’t …” Sorry, this is where Colossians 3 comes in, there aren’t any can’ts allowed.  Remember, my paraphrased version of it, if you have a problem with someone, do them a favor (and yourself) and put up with it, just like Christ put up with all your junk.

Ok, so in this case, I don’t have to love them, I just have to like them enough that when I am around them, I am able to put up with their junk in such a way that I am not doing worthless stuff to them and everyone can see ME (not necessarily them) as good and there is freedom from disputes, as much as I possibly can. You know what, unless I am  living with the person everyday, I think this is doable. So, got any relationships that need to be restored? I guess everyone will be able to tell if I have take this question and apply it, now won’t they?

What relationship needs to be severed?

How about some of those that were in the last bunch, sure would relieve me of a bunch of responsiblity?? hehe! Yeah, I wish. The scriptures to consider for this question were: 1 Corinthians 15:33 and 5:11.

Do not be so deceived and misled! Evil companionships (communion, associations) corrupt and deprave good manners and morals and character. (AMP)

Evil, still means the same as above, so that means “worthless in nature,” “not such as it ought to be,” “of a mode of thinking, feeling, acting,” “harmful.” Interestingly enough, if you read the NIV or KJV of this verse, the word translated as “companionships,” here is translated as “communications.” But, the original Greek word is ‘homilia’ which means ‘companionship, intercourse, communion.’ (Let me point out this is a good reason to not just take what you read in one translation.) I have to go to a regular dictionary for the meaning of these words, but basically it means, the state of being with, communicating with, and sharing thoughts and feelings with someone. So if I hang out with and talk a lot to someone who does a lot of worthless stuff that they shouldn’t do, I’ll … let’s see what will happen to me.

Corrupt and deprave mean to shrivel, wither, or spoil. So all my good manners (a way of acting or behaving) and morals (motivation based on ideas of right and wrong) and character (the way people think of: look on as or consider me) will be withered away and spoiled. Yeah, don’t think I want that, do you? But how do I decide who these people are? How do I decide which relationships to sever? I mean, we all have bad days, we all have SOME sin in our lives, don’t we? I don’t think I’d have any relationships left, umm, because everyone would have to get rid of me. hehe!

The pastor suggested this next verse: 1 Corinthinas 5:11:

But now I write to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of [Christian] brother if he is known to be guilty of immorality or greed, or is an idolater [whose soul is devoted to any object that usurps the place of God], or is a person with a foul tongue [railing, abusing, reviling, slandering], or is a drunkard or a swindler or a robber. [No] you must not so much as eat with such a person. (AMP)

Notice that the tense is present tense, not past tense, not future tense, present tense. They continue to call themselves a Christian AND continue to walk in their sin. Not those who slipped up once and repented (changed their ways). Those that CONTINUE to sin. So it’s spelled out, actually there are several places it is spelled out, I encourage you as you consider this question to review the blog I put together of NT Sins. It is VERY important to get the meaning of each of these listed here, the meanings may not be what you think they are. Again, the blog I just mentioned lays out the actual, Biblical meanings of these verses. As the pastor pointed out, this is in regard to OTHER CHRISTIANS. People who say they are Christians.

Versus 12-13 read:

What [business] of mine is it and what right have I to judge outsiders? Is it not those inside [the church] upon whom you are to pass disciplinary judgment [passing censuring sentence on them as the facts require]? God alone sits in judgment on those who are outside. Drive out that wicked one from among you [expel him from your church].

And did you catch that, don’t even EAT with them? hmmm So, are there relationship I need to sever? I think if any come to mind, the harder question for most of us is how not who.

Lot’s of pondering, praying, and actions required now. Don’t ya think?

As Pastor Jim said, “Every relationship ends up somewhere, but few end up somewhere on purpose.”

For Better or For Worse … January 8, 2010

This started out differently than it is right now. I put the beginning at the end. In order for the first paragraph to make absolute sence, you might want to read the text that appears below the dotted line at the end. It’s kind of like a forward to a book, you can read the book without reading it, but you might learn something in it that makes the book even better. I kept the title because I think it still fits.

Couples who are struggling with for worse situations that are really beyond their control would gladly exchange them for worse situations within their control. It’s sad to watch till death do us part happen because of sickness, accidents, or any other thing beyond anyone’s control. It’s irritating and frustrating to watch till death do us part happen because of selfishness, self-centeredness, and things that could become for better just by loving and putting the other person before yourself.

Spouses, WAKE UP!!! STEP UP!!! AND GIVE UP!!!

WAKE UP to what makes your spouse happy. Listen to each other. There is no such thing as a complaining spouse, if you have a complaining spouse, it just means you are not listening. Yeah, I know, there are those few people in life that just can not be happy and there is nothing anyone can do to make them happy. Your stuck with them now, make the best of it you can. But most of the time, that is not the case. If your spouse was lying on their death bed or lying in a hospital and they asked you to do something for them, you would do it and you know it. They wouldn’t have to complain to get you to do it. Maybe what everyone needs to do is realize that every marriage is on the verge of till death do us part.

STEP UP to YOUR responsibilities. God has given the husband and the wife responsibilities. If the husband would stop studying what the wife is supposed to do and just does what he is supposed to do, everything else will fall into order. God designed a woman to respond to her husband. Yeah, again, I know, there are those women who just won’t do it. SO WHAT! Husbands are supposed to treat their wives as Christ did the church. Have you seriously looked at the church? The church is a whining, complaining, nagging, spoiled rotten brat. Yet Christ loved her so much, he died for her. Men, YOU are a part of that church that Christ died for, you should know that you were not someone worth that. Stop waiting for your wife to be worth dying for. You die for her, she will follow you. Do you see it?? Christ died THEN the church followed. No, I am not excusing the women. I wouldn’t tell them to step up, I would tell them to Step down, step back, or step over, whatever you have to do, just get into a support position! Stop trying to jump up on the cross for the men. And some women are letting their men put them in that position, jump down then. Women, stop studying what the husband is supposed to do and just do what you are supposed to do.  If BOTH spouses just did what they were supposed to do, then there wouldn’t be any problems. Ultimately, the men have to step up first. Men, think of it this way. Which is easier to work for, a boss that you respect or one you don’t? Can you ever really respect a boss that doesn’t deserve it? It is a very difficult thing. But I know many of you who love, or are loving to parents and children that are just mean and sometime disrespectful to you. I don’t think I’ve seen anywhere in the Bible where a fruit of the Spirit is respect, but I know that one is love. So if you are a true Christ follower, you WILL be able to LOVE your wife, if you do that, she WILL give you respect. It’s very hard to disrespect someone who is loving. Wife, if you are a true Christ follower, when your husband loves you, you WILL show him respect. Because God designed it that way and ultimately you are following Him, not your husband.

GIVE UP both of you. First, men, give up the idea that you are in charge. You aren’t. You are only a part of a leadership team. God did not make you to be king over your household. If anything, you are the servant as you are to be like Christ, who was the ultimate servant. Second, women, give up some of the things that you think you need. You aren’t the body, you are only the rib. You are made to fit into and mold into the man that you married. That means it’s your job to try and bring the two of you together in a NEW way, not his way, not your way. Men were not designed to be intuitive, you were. You need to figure how to change things so they work for both of you. Now here’s the raw deal men, whether you like it or not, you give up more than her. You just do. Just keep reminding yourself that Christ was beaten beyond recognition, put on a cross NAKED, humiliated, for you – you should be willing to do the same for your wife. But a good wife wouldn’t ask her husband to go that far. MOST women are naturally givers. So, how do you make it work – YOU BOTH GIVE UP!! Give it all up to God. If you can’t agree on something, give it to God. You see, that leadership team is made up of the husband, the wife, and God. And God is the real final decision maker, not the man, not the women. It’s a triangle, and there is only GOD at the top. I dare you to try and fight God on an issue. Again, men, women are designed to be more intuitive, make sure that before you make that decision you have really listened to your wife. Honestly, men CAN make better decisions than women, as long as they take in all the facts and get themselves out of the issue. The woman helps you get yourself out of the issue. If you take time to listen to the wife, you won’t have to hear, I told you so later. Take what you think, what your wife thinks, and both of you pray about it. Don’t do anything unless you hear what God has to say. IT’s A TEAM, you can’t win by yourself. Men are ONLY the quarterbacks, you may think you are running the team, but you have a coach (GOD) who is really calling the plays.

You know, so many times I have heard it said that it would be nice to have an instruction manual for marriage or even for parenting. The sad part is, we have one, it’s just that no one pays attention to it. It’s like getting something that needs to be assembled and you open it up and start assembling without reading the instructions. You get half way through and find out you are missing a part or put something together wrong. It’s just plain dumb to do that. So get out the instruction manual and read it. Don’t read how to put together a wife if you are a husband. And don’t read how to put together a husband if you are a wife.

I’ll make it a little easier for you. Here:

The Husbands Instruction Manual

The Wives Instruction Manual

———————–

… Till Death Do Us Part

As I write tonight, my heart is burdened for marriages. I will be honest, I have four specific couples in mind, but they represent millions of couples out there. I apologize in advance if anything that I write reveals the identity of those couples, but I feel compelled to write anyway. In all honesty, I have no idea what is about to be written nor how these four couples relate to one another, but I know it will be revealed as I continue. I can not see inside of these homes and I have come to realize that what you see going on outside is not always what is going on inside. We, as people, have learned to play roles so well. We are all like movie stars with a public personalities that shine for the camera’s and the audience, and another private life that we do what ever we can to keep hidden. But this is what I see on the outside.

The first couple I am thinking of are fighting and they are fighting hard. They are on the brink of “death due us part.” It seems as though their “for better or worse,” has been more worse than better. They have weathered many things together and yet, for some reason, their worse has come  down to petty little things. Their worse is not struggling to pay the bills, court battles, accusations of abuse, or the kids drinking, sex and cutting, they’ve been through all that and survived. Their worse is not health related or surgically issues, again, they have made it through such things. No, none of that is the worst that could happen to them. Their worst, is the everyday things. Their worse, is having to love each other. Their worse is learning to be polite, thoughtful and caring. The fighting they are doing, it’s against each other. It is not about which one it is that needs to change the most, does it really matter which one it is? It only takes one to kill a marriage. It only takes one to decide that they are not going to do this, or they are tired of hearing that, or, or, or. For them, death is something happening from within the heart and mind. Without a change of heart and a change of mind, their for better or for worse has just turned the corner into death do us part.

The second couple I am thinking of are fighting and they are fighting hard. They are on the brink of “death due us part.” It seems as though their “for better or worse,” has taken on new meaning. Their worse is no longer whether the toilet seat is left up or down, who has to take the kids someplace, or whether one of them snores too loudly. In fact, I bet if I could ask them, they would gladly take on any of those problems. You see, one of them is fighting for their life because of a health related problem A better for them is a day when they both would have energy enough to fight about those other things. A better for them would be the wife cooking a meal and burning it because she was distracted by joining in a wii game with the kids. A better for them is another day to have to love each other, to be polite, thoughtful and caring. They are not fighting each other, they are fighting together. For them, death is something happening from within the body. Their till death do us part has turned the corner on what their for better or for worse is.

The third couple I am thinking of are fighting and they are fighting hard. They are on the brink of “death due us part.” It seems as though their “for better or worse,” has also taken on new meaning. Before they got married their for worse would have had to do with loneliness and struggling alone. One was struggling, with so many things to take care of on their own. The other had nothing to take care of, they were on their own. They decided to join forces against their individual for worse situations and lighten the load by carrying it together. Now their for worse is one carrying more load than they did before because the other is dumping their worse into the other’s lap. Their for better of combining households has turned into a for worse as the unnecessary bills from reckless behaviors mount up and are left to one to handle. For them, death is something happening from within mind and the ego. Without a change of thinking and a change of focus, their for better or for worse has just turned the corner into death do us part.

The fourth couple I am thinking of are fighting and they are fighting hard. They have been on the brink of “death due us part” many times. It seems as though their “for better or worse,” has also taken on new meaning. They thought their for worse might come in the form of tempers, finances, and time. Instead their for worse has been in the form of car wrecks, loss of eye sight, and near death health concerns. Their for worse could have been their independence, yet now it has turned into their dependence. Their for worse could have been their family vacations canceled because of non-family emergencies and needs, yet now their for worse has been vacations canceled because of family emergencies and needs. They thought their for worse was one of the family going into a volatile missions field, yet their worse turned out to be contracting a disease while there. Their anticipated for worse became their for better. For them, death is something happening from outside their control. Their till death do us part has turned the corner on what their for better or for worse is.

So are you going to let your for better or for worse turn into a death do you part? Or are you going to let till death do you part, turn what your for better or for worse is?

Oneness January 2, 2010

This one might get really deep. If you don’t get it, it’s not your time to. If it makes no sense, it’s not supposed to. It may seem to skip around but it will all come together in the end.

The other day a thought came to me. I find it very interesting that many people from many different walks of life and many different religions see marriage as a union, two people becoming one. This seems to be a totally acceptable and comprehensible thing. It amazes me that people can call something ‘one’ that is so obviously two. I don’t think anyone would deny that there are two distinct people involved in any marriage. Even people who chose to live together can be heard saying, “We are one.” We all know what people mean when they say that too. hmmm Two distinctly different people described and accepted as being one.

How many side dishes do you take to a party if you take a potato salad? Do you count a potato salad as 5 different dishes, or do you only bring 1? Think about this for a minute. This dish has potatoes, mayonnaise, eggs, mustard, relish, onions, etc., in it. But is ONE dish. You can look at it and distinctly see most of those ingredients, they don’t disappear, they don’t really mesh into a different thing. The potatoes are still potatoes, the eggs are still eggs. hmmmm Yet if we bring potato salad to a party, it only counts as being one dish.

What about a fruit tree? You probably know where I’m going with this right? Theres wood, a whole ton of leaves (which is obvious every fall), and some type of fruit. It’s all described as a tree, ONE tree.

I’d like to take a closer look at this fruit tree for a minute. What kind of tree do you want it to be? I’m gonna pick aaaaaa Plum tree. You thought I was gonna say Apple, didn’t you? haha! Where would you start, with the tree, the fruit, the seed? Let’s start with the tree. There’s this beautiful tree growing somewhere in the world. You don’t see the tree do you? Well if you have one in your backyard you might, but generally, we don’t get to see the trees our fruit comes off of. You DO believe there was a tree right? I think most people would agree to that. As far as I know, plums still come from trees. Here’s a question for you, why do you believe there is a tree? If you can’t see it and you could probably never trace your plum back to it’s original tree, then how do you know there is a tree at all? hmmm What if I came up to you as you were eating your plum and said, “Prove to me there was a tree.” Could you?

Ok, so you have this plum that came from this tree that you can’t really prove to me ever existed, but you do have a plum to show me, if you haven’t already eaten it. Now the question could become, “How do I know that plum came from a tree?” “How do I know that is a REAL plum?” Maybe it’s an oversized grape! Could you prove to me that it is a plum? How? I bet you would tell me to taste it, wouldn’t you? And I bet if I tasted it, I would have to admit it is really a plum. Guess that would prove it. But what if you ate it already, could you prove to me there was a plum?

Ahhh, yeah, you would have the seed wouldn’t you? Most people would be able to tell it was a plum seed I guess, but I think they would look a lot like some other fruit seeds I can think of. If you could show me the seed I would have no doubt that there was some kind of fruit wrapped around the seed, you wouldn’t have to prove that to me. Maybe you would be lucky enough to have witnesses that saw the plum. But they are all gone now, so, how would you prove to me that it was a plum and not a peach or a nectarine? I mean, I’m not a fruit expert or anything. So how would you prove it? I know! You could put the seed into the ground and we would have to wait to see what kind of fruit the tree that grew there produced. That would be the only way for me to know for sure that it was a plum seed. (By the way, there’s a whole other thing I could go into here about how there is preparation the seed has to go through before it can just be thrown into the ground, but we’ll just leave it at that.)

I still come back to my original question though, can you prove to me there was a plum tree somewhere that produced the original plum that you ate, and the seed that we planted? I mean, maybe the plum just poofed into existence from some antimatter coming together or something?? Or maybe a spec of dirt? hmmm

Soooooo, oneness – what does all this have to do with oneness?

We accept married people as being one, we accept potato salad as being one dish, and we accept the tree, fruit, and seed as coming from one tree. Why do we find it so hard to grasp the oneness of God (Father), Jesus (Son), and the Holy Spirit?

Back to that tree. You see, I think they are exactly like the tree. The Bible says in Romans 1:20:

²⁰For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:

The tree, that’s God. You can’t prove it ever existed, you can’t prove that it didn’t. All you have is this plum sitting in your hand and you know it came from somewhere.

The plum, that’s Jesus. You can prove Jesus. He’s gone now, but there were plenty of people who are also gone that  saw him and wrote about him, some even died because of knowing him. But let me tell you this, if you have ever tasted Jesus, you know that he existed. You know what, the best part is that he left a part of himself around just to prove his existence. It’s the seed.

The seed, that’s the Holy Spirit. The only way to show the spirit is by producing a new tree for everyone to see. You plant that seed deep inside of you and you cultivate the things you learn from the Bible. You let that seed become who you are and people around you will one day see fruit that proves exactly what tree you came from.

You see, oneness really isn’t so hard to understand. And the existence of God really isn’t that hard to prove.

Love and War by John and Stasi Eldredge December 29, 2009

These are just a few of the things that are popping out at me as I read this book.

Page 31

“Your marriage is part of a larger story, too, a story as romantic as any that has ever stirred your heart, and at least as dangerous. The sooner you come to terms with this, the sooner you can understand what is happening in your marriage”

Page 34-35

… “It is a kind of incarnation, a passion play about the love and union between Jesus and his beloved.

Which might help you appreciate why the fury of hell has been unleashed against it. God is telling a love story and the setting is war.

Pause for a moment. God chooses marriage as the image of his love for his people, and our love for him? I am dumbfounded. You’re [God] trusting us with what?”

Then again, he gave the Church the mission of evangelizing the world, insisting that unless we do it the job will not get done. It is a mission of staggering consequence, and God hands the whole thing over to the Church, for heaven’s sake — meaning, your aunt Gladys and her knitting club, the delicate parson and his domineering wife, the boys making a wreck just now of the Sunday school room, Henry the janitor who will not open the building for you because it is after hours and you haven’t got a note from the trustees. These are the people God sends forth in  his bid to save the world.

It helps you to appreciate the stakes he loves to play at. If you look again at the stories God writes, they are nearly always tales of desperate battles against insurmountable odds by the most unlikely heroes in the world. And nearly always, a last-minute rescue: Noah and his little family put out upon an endless sea. David in a do-or-die charge against the brute Philistine; Daniel in the lion’s den. Esther – in a bid to save her people – risks the head upon her shoulders on the chance that the king is in a good mood. The Savior of the world at the breast of a teenage girl. The sheer number and consistency of these stories is unyielding and unnerving.

Your marriage, by the way, is being written by the same Author.

Page 37

Now, name one thing in the entire created world more precious than a human heart

… The heart is God’s most magnificent creation, and the prize over which he fights the kingdom of darkness.

Now consider this — marriage is the sanctuary of the heart.

You have been entrusted with the heart of another human being. Whatever else your life’s great mission will entail, loving and defending this heart next to you is part of your great quest.

Pages 38-39

… There is no greater place for damage, too, because there is no greater place for glory. God uses marriage to bring us the possibility of the deepest joys in life; Satan tries to use it for destruction.

… No one will have a greater impact on your spouse’s soul than you. No one has greater access to your spouse’s heart than you. This is an enormous honor.

… Marriage is hard. It is hard because it is opposed.  The devil hates marriage; he hates the beautiful picture of Jesus and his Bride that it represents. He hates love and life and beauty in all its forms. The world hates marriage. It hates unity and faithfulness and monogamy. Our flesh is not our ally here either – it rebels when we put others before ourselves. Our flesh hates dying.

But God loves marriage!

Page 43

Learning to live with our opposite and all their little quirkinesses is part of learning to love.

Page 47

Our brokenness combines with our sin and produces a style of relating. An approach to life, which to us feels so utterly justified and so perfectly reasonable, but in fact is the very thing that will destroy us and all those around us.

Page 48

… If they refuse their transformation – which is essential to the plot of the story – they’ll never make it. Evil will win, they will lose heart and split up, and there will be no happily ever after.

… happily ever after waits upon a particular turn of events, at the center of which is the character’s transformation.

… Notice that when men fail, they tend to fail in one of two ways – either they become passive and silent, or they become domineering and violent. They either don’t offer their strength or they wield it in harmful ways.

… Notice that when women fail they tend to either become controlling or desperately needy. Either they refuse to offer vulnerability or they ask their man to fill the ache in their soul.

Page 49

{NOTE: I could type out all of page 49, but I won’t which could make this a little choppy. Hopefully you can read between lines or get the book.}

We all have a way that we do life. We might call it our personality, or our natural bent – the way we handle pressure, the way we listen, the way we look for happiness, the way we control our world. ….

… We are, all of us, utterly committed and deeply devoted to our “style,” our “way,” our “approach to life.” We have absolutely no intention of giving it up. Not even for love. So God creates an environment where we have to. It’s called marriage.

… He simply knows that until we deal with our brokenness, our sin, and our style of relating, we aren’t going to be happy. Nobody around us is going to be very happy, either. Most of what you’ve been experiencing in the last twelve months is God’s attempt to get you to face your style of relating and repent of it.

Pages 50-51

We must come to face our style, of course. As men, we look at where we are passive, and where we are domineering, harsh, or violent. As women, we face where we are controlling, and where we are desperately clingy. And as God reveals these things, we make those thousand little choices to turn from our style of relating. We make deliberate choices to love.

Page 52

Making the time to really hear your husband’s story or your wife’s story will be time well spent. We want to encourage you to do this. Give each other a few hours. Ask questions. Listen. Invite God to guide and fill the time. It will bear so much good fruit.

Page 55

There are two kinds of people in this world – the clueless and the repentant. Those who are open to looking at their life and those who are not. Folks who know they need God to change them and folks who expect everyone else to change. We have great hope for the first group. The second bunch are choosing ignorance; the damage they are doing is almost unforgivable.

This is why the “apply some principles” approach to marriage improvement doesn’t work. So long as we choose to turn a blind eye to how we are fallen as men or women, and to the unique style of relating we have forged out of our sin and brokenness, we will continue to do damage to our marriages. We will add to our spouse’s hopelessness that things will never change. You don’t want to add cynicism and resignation to your marriage. You want your spouse to experience: She is really changing! He is really thinking about his impact on me! That inspires so much hope. It awakens so much desire. Something begins to stir in our hearts. Wow, this could get good. I mean, we could really go places here!

Page 66

The human heart has an infinite capacity for happiness and an unending need for love, because it is created for an infinite God who is unending love.

Page 67

Every woman now has an insatiable need for relationship, one that can never be filled. It is an ache in her soul designed to drive her to God. Men instinctively know that the bottomless well is there and pull back. I don’t want to be engulfed by that. Besides, no matter how much I offer, it’ll never be enough. This is Eve’s sorrow. This is the break in her cup. She aches for intimacy, to be known, loved, and chosen. And it also explains her deepest fear – abandonment.

Men face  different sort of emptiness. We are forever frustrated in our ability to conquer life.

A man aches for affirmation, for validation, to know that he has come through. This also explains his deepest fear – failure.

Now, take these fears, brokenness, and this famished craving, throw them together into the same house and lock the door. What ensues is the pain, disappointment, and confusion most people describe as their marriage. But what did you expect? I mean, are you really surprised?

Page 68

The good news is, of course, you aren’t enough. You never, ever will be.

… Your spouse’s unhappiness – and yours – means you both have a famished craving within you that only God can meet. As this begins to come clear to you, it will be an enormous relief that you cannot possibly make your spouse happy. “Of course you are disappointed, dear. I understand completely. This isn’t my fault. Go to God.”

Page 69

Trying to sort your way through marriage without God in your life is like trying to be gracious when you are utterly sleep deprived. At some point, you lose your ability to be kind; you lose all perspective.

And so the greatest give you can give to your marriage is for you to develop a real relationship with Jesus Christ.

… We’re talking about a relationship where you are finding in God the life and love your soul so desperately needs.

Page 70

The secret of happiness is this: God is the love you are longing for.

Updated 1/7/09

Page 76

Life is meant to be shared; we are supposed to feel “in.” We are meant to live in community, in relationship with others. People may drive us crazy sometimes, but still we need each other. One is the loneliest number and all that. Now, some of us are born introverts — we replenish our spirits and souls best in the company of just ourselves and our God. In fact, everyone needs time alone. Regularly. But in the same way, everyone needs to be in the company of others as well, regularly.

Pages 98 – 99

Remember, in the spiritual realm, you are seen as one. When husband and wife stand together, the demons shudder.

Remember also that Adam and Ever were given authority over the earth (“… and let them rule” [Genesis 1:26]). So the two of you exercise authority over your “realm,” your little kingdom — that includes your marriage, your home, and your children among many other things. In fact, God has raised you to a higher position of  authority than Adam and Eve held. After Christ paid for the sins of mankind through his own blood (by which he also disarmed the claims of the enemy against us), he rose from the dead. God the Father then gave to him all authority in heaven and on earth (Matthew 28:18). Christ won back what Adam and Eve surrendered.

And then, God included you in the authority of Jesus Christ. “And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus” (Ephesians 2:6). So when husband and wife stand together, they wield a great deal of power and authority.

Page 104

The Israelites had to fight to get to the Promised Land, and they had to fight to get in. Once there, they had to fight to clear it of enemies, and then fight to keep it so. David had to fight to secure his throne, and he too had to fight to keep it. God has long fought for the romance he desires with us, and he fights on even now. You need not be afraid of the fight. The battle can be won, and it will call forth wonderful things from you, things like courage and sacrifice, steadfastness and love.

Page 105

Why do certain subjects always result in arguments for the two of you? why is it that when you bring up the topic of money or sex, his mother, her mother, your brother, how much time you sped at work, your weight, where you will spend the holidays — it all blows up in your face? It feels booby-trapped. Yes, exactly. It is. You have just stumbled into the enemy’s camp; you have just uncovered where he is working.

… Pray against it. … If you don’t do this, oh, once a week, you are probably being naïve. Satan and his minions don’t take days off; they have no holidays.

Page 111

What we call “Christianity” is an invasion.

The Kingdom of God is advancing into the kingdom of darkness, a campaign to ransom people and the earth God intended us to rule. For the Son of Man came to seek and save what was lost. All that was lost. If Christianity seems to you to be having rather less than a remarkable impact on the earth, it is because too many Christians have this idea that we are in a waiting game, that we are basically killing time until jesus comes back and we all get to go to heaven. We are sitting around like people waiting to catch a flight. That is not what Jesus told us to do; he didn’t say, “Now hold tight in those pews and twiddle your holy thumbs, I’ll be back soon as I can.” He said, “As the Father has sent me, I send you” (John 20:21).

Let that sink in for a moment. New orders have been given.

Page 130

Learning to hear the voice of God, together.

Yes. It is the simplest, most helpful, least practiced treasure and it will literally rescue the two of you in countless ways.

The secrete of the Christian life – and the Christian marriage – is that you don’t have to figure it out. You don’t have to figure life out, you don’t have to figure each other out, you don’t have to figure parenting out, or money or family. You have a counselor, you have a guide – you have God.

Page 134

But most of us approach prayer like a speech – we say what we have to say, sort of rattle off the list of requests, and then that’s it. We walk away. Done. We don’t even give him a chance to reply. Can you image doing this to your spouse (well, actually, many of you do do this to your spouse – and how does that turn out usually?). Prayer is meant to be a conversation; God wants to speak to us. To live in an intimate, conversational relationship with God is the normal Christian life.

Pages 136-137 – Sooo much here, you have to get the book to read! But here are a few one liners:

The first thing we have to do is stop and ask the Lord … Then, we listen again. About half the time one of us comes around to agreement. …

… Half the time we are not in agreement; and we have to sort out why we’re not. We stop, and pray again. ….

… about half the time one of us ends up “realigning” when we push further into prayer, and we find an agreement. Which means that only 25 percent of all our attempts to walk with God together end up without a clear unity. That’s pretty good. …

Okay, so what about that 25 percent? How do we handle that? The way we sort it through depends on the weight of the matter. If we’re talking small potatoes … we defer to wisdom. Or, if one of us has a strong opinion about it, we try to respect that and go with it. Heck, toss a coin. It is better than making a federal case out of it.

If it’s a matter that is really important to us , we will often say: “Let’s sleep on it. Pray about it some more on our own, and talk about it in a day or two. …

Page 143

Remember God is after your transformation. Before you tell your spouse that they are driving you nuts, you need to ask yourself, Why does this bug me so?” does this get in the way of your way of making life work? does it rub up against your style of relating? Is the issue really about your need to control, or make a good impression, or the fact that you do not like being pinned down? Okay, making you late — -why is that such a big deal? Sure, you have to load the dishwasher — why does that grate on you so?

There is a good chance that there is a log in your own eye that you will want to deal with before you try to help them with their speck.

Then. when you are in a good place, you can bring it up.

Page 145

Often the one who wants to talk about the taboo topic is the one who is not so happy; who may feel the need to curb or enlighten the other regarding behavior. To bring up for dialogue an uncomfortable subject can be an act of immense courage. To stay present to your spouse while you bring up a difficult subject takes courage as well. And faith. Every one of us has little quirks we are entirely unaware of. Do you know what yours are? Want to risk asking your spouse? Or what about asking the question, “Are there things I do that really annoy you?”

Refusing to address issues in our marriage leads to hiding. And resentment. When you close off a section in your house, all the dark little creatures move in. You do not want to give the enemy this kind of playground.

Page 160

Whatever else is going on, you know God is using your marriage to forge your character. You also know by now that the log in your eye makes it hard to see anything clearly. So even if the primary cause for the crises lies beyond you, it is best to start here.

Page 161

Whatever else their reason, whatever their cause, God will use the hard times to expose our sin. Our spouse’s sin as well. It is best to begin by asking him, Lord, what is being exposed here? What are you after? Notice your reaction, your emotion, your inner thought life. Notice what you tend to do. Through other issues might be at play – are almost always at play – this is a good starting point. Accept your own transformation.

… Spiritual attack must be a category you think in, or you will misunderstand more than half of what happens in your marriage. …

Page 164

We live in a broken world; disease, accident, and injury are just part of life east of Eden. This world has foul spirits in it, too; they cause a lot of havoc. The sin of man is enough to sink any ship. Stir all these together and you have got plenty of reason for suffering. So don’t go thinking that every bad thing that happens is God punishing you.

Pages 167-168

For years I think we both thought that to overlook your spouse’s issues was the most living thing to do. I mean, geez, we are all a royal mess. We have got more than just one log in our own eye; most of the time it feels like a log cabin, like a tub of Lincoln Logs. Who am I to point out John’s shortcomings? But when I read the verse again – we take the log out of our own eye so that we can help our spouse with the speck in theirs. By all means, we overlook their little quirks; we even overlook the ways they wound us, if by overlook we mean we forgive them. But this doesn’t mean we turn a blind eye to issues that will eventually harm them, or the marriage, or the children. God doesn’t.

It is not love to ignore your spouse’s sin,, or brokenness, or immaturity. It is not love to let something wrong carry on. It is not right. Truth be told, it is a lack of love that lets it all go on for years. When you let your own fears keep you from bringing something up with your spouse, that is self-protection. Or indifference. God loves until what he loves is pure. …

Page 178

Giving sex without love borders on prostitution. Demanding sex without love is abuse. We are talking about intertwining of two hearts as their bodies become one. The more you hae that in mind the better things will go.

Page 179

… God thus builds into the sexual mystery an insistence upon love and trust outside the bed. How true to his character; it does not work to come to God with the “goodies” – answered prayers, blessings of whatever sort – apart from a relationship with him. The treasures are for those who love him, and live like it.

So it is with a woman.

Pages 180-182

A man bears the image of God in many ways, but most essentially in his strength. Not with big muscles, but with courage, engagement, and taking the initiative. … A man wants to feel powerful. it is essential to his design.

… A woman bears the image of God in many ways, too, but most essentially in her beauty. Not the perfect figure, but her tenderness, vulnerability, and allure. … A woman wants to be pursued; she wants to feel desireable, beautiful. It is essential to her design.

… A man offers strength when he simply engages her at the end of his day; he turns of ESPN, turns to his wife, and asks: “How are you? Tell me about your day.” (These things don’t always have to be dramatic.) A man engages when he protects his wife from a controlling mother. “She’s not available right now. She’ll call you in a couple of days.” And when he provides a place for her emotions — without being consumed by them — and offers tender understanding.

A woman offers beauty when she offers kindness. The world does not provide tenderness or mercy on a regular basis and we all need it. Offering your husband a safe harbor for his thoughts, concerns, or doubts, and not giving way to fear yourself is a beautiful expression of your love. Seeing your husband’s strength and telling him what you see feeds his soul. One of the most priceless gifts a woman can give her husband is the message that she believes in him‘ he is the real deal; he is a real man. We offer beauty when we do not fear his masculinity nor our femininity. …

Page 190

A good marriage is a place where we are seen and loved, secure in the knowledge that our heart is being truted as good, thought the best of, and even delighted in. … Marriage is a relationship that provides the most hope for times of rest – a respite from the world of needing to prove ourselves – from having to work so hard to make ourselves understood and known. Instead, marriage is a place where we are meant to be able to “let down” and be our truest selves; to be known, loved, and welcomed. In that place our souls and our bodies can rest into each other’s loving embrace.

… Nine times out of ten, troubles in the bedroom are the flares going up because there are troubles elsewhere in the marriage. You would be a fool to ignore them.

Page 193

… Marriage is a crucible; the gladiatorial arena for love and war. It will eventually expose every broken place in you; it will reveal your every sin, if only before the watching heavens. Your commitment to self-protection will be confronted daily. You will be disappointed and you will be wounded. You will more certainly be tested; there may not be a greater test of character on the planet.

Page 195

Because love is what we are created for; it is the reason for our existence. Love is our destiny. Love God and love one another – these are the two great commands upon the human race. The secrete to life is this — we are here in order to learn how to love.

It is really quite an epiphany when the truth finally strikes home. It might be the most liberating realization we ever come to. We are hear in order to learn how to love. It is our greatest mission of all, our destiny.

Page 196

To be unloving is to fail at the very thing we were created for. It is a rejection of the essence of our existence, a rejection of the Love that made us.

… I think you can fairly easily sort out the people who have come to this epiphany from those who have not. There is something different about their approach to life – what upsets them, what makes them laugh, and especially the way they handle people. … It most often comes through some kind of encounter with God. He lives to love, and if you hang around Jesus long enough it rubs off on you.

Page 198

I think we all look for love to come in dramatic ways. We know love is powerful and beautiful. How come it doesn’t feel like it? Love plays itself out in what seems like such unremarkable ways – you pick up your socks, you ignore her snarky comment, you put the toilet seat down. But this is exactly what makes it epic – the fact that love plays itself out in a thousand little choices, unseen and without supporting soundtrack. That is what makes it so beautiful.

Page 202

… Realizing that I’ve hurt him is painful. But I have to take the next step and apologize to him for it — specifically. I need to go to him in love and tell him that I see that I have hurt him, confess that I am deeply sorry, and ask for his forgiveness. Hurting my husband hardens his heart toward me. I lose his trust. Brick by brick a wall is slowly built up between us. Owning my part, acknowledging the pain I caused, repenting and asking for his forgiveness will hopefully bring that wall down.

Page 203-204 – This is another long one – you just have to read it – get the book.

Eventually the buildup of all those offenses, great and small, shut a marriage down because our hearts shut down; part of us, anyway shuts down, checks out, or catches a bus out of town. … So you can’t just blast past your impact on your spouse and hope for good things ahead.

Just as you can’t in your relationship with God.

You know your intimacy with God is hurt by your sin, your indifference, your unbelief, your habitual addictions. In order to draw near to him, in order to recover the relationship, you have to say: “I’m sorry. Forgive me. I want to be close again, Lord Jesus. Come near to me. Forgive me for the outburst, that indulgence, for ignoring you for weeks. I really do love you.” This is essential to the spiritual life. And you also know this is not a onetime thing. Our love with God is nurtured by forgiveness, healed by forgiveness, recovered through forgiveness over and over and over again.

Your spiritual life can’t go anywhere without forgiveness. Marriage can’t go anywhere without forgiveness.

We need to bring the healing grace of forgiveness into our marriages. What that looks like is sitting down together and putting something on the table: “Honey, I think maybe this [you will need to be specific] has been doing damage and I’m only now realizing it.” Or asking your mater: “What’s it like to live with me? What has the cumulative effect been upon you?” And if you are fortunate enough for your spouse to take the enormous risk of telling you, DO NOT do further damage by explaining it away or defending yourself: “Well, now hang on a second — you’ve got your issues, too,” or “That is not what I meant at all — you took that totally wrong!”

Listen to what they have to say, acknowledge the weight of it, and then you say: “Sweetheart, I hear you. I am terribly sorry. Please forgive me.”

… And what follows is equally important. You don’t want to sabotage the healing by repeating the very thing you did that caused you to ask for mercy in the first place. Your spouse needs to see real change; they need to see some conscious effort on your part of the enemy will be there in a flash with all the old agreements. You see? Things will never change. Forget it. It’s not worth it.

Calm down. Take a deep breath. We know this sounds like a root canal without Novocaine but God is with you. You are loved. You are forgiven. You are secure. You just have a little making up to do.

I think this book is great, even for people who are married. It brings out some spiritual truths just shouldn’t be overlooked.

Put Off, Be Renewed, Put on December 16, 2009

I came across some notes I took awhile ago. I wish I could remember what book I was reading at the time. But here they are anyway.

Every believer is called to “morph,” Ephesians 4:1-6 (Amplified Bible)

¹I THEREFORE, the prisoner for the Lord, appeal to and beg you to walk (lead a life) worthy of the [divine] calling to which you have been called [with behavior that is a credit to the summons to God's service,

²Living as becomes you] with complete lowliness of mind (humility) and meekness (unselfishness, gentleness, mildness), with patience, bearing with one another and making allowances because you love one another.

³Be eager and strive earnestly to guard and keep the harmony and oneness of [and produced by] the Spirit in the binding power of peace.

⁴[There is] one body and one Spirit–just as there is also one hope [that belongs] to the calling you received–

⁵[There is] one Lord, one faith, one baptism,

⁶One God and Father of [us] all, Who is above all [Sovereign over all], pervading all and [living] in [us] all.

Christ’s defeat of sin, death and Satan makes “morphing” possible. Ephesians 4:7-10

⁷Yet grace (God’s unmerited favor) was given to each of us individually [not indiscriminately, but in different ways] in proportion to the measure of Christ’s [rich and bounteous] gift.

⁸Therefore it is said, When He ascended on high, He led captivity captive [He led a train of ^[a]vanquished foes] and He bestowed gifts on men.^(A)

⁹[But He ascended?] Now what can this, He ascended, mean but that He had previously descended from [the heights of] heaven into [the depths], the lower parts of the earth?

¹⁰He Who descended is the [very] same as He Who also has ascended high above all the heavens, that He [His presence] might fill all things (the whole universe, from the lowest to the highest).

The church is God’s primary agent of “morphing” in our lives. Ephesians 4:11-16

¹¹And His gifts were [varied; He Himself appointed and gave men to us] some to be apostles (special messengers), some prophets (inspired preachers and expounders), some evangelists (preachers of the Gospel, traveling missionaries), some pastors (shepherds of His flock) and teachers.

¹²His intention was the perfecting and the full equipping of the saints (His consecrated people), [that they should do] the work of ministering toward building up Christ’s body (the church),

¹³[That it might develop] until we all attain oneness in the faith and in the comprehension of the [^[b]full and accurate] knowledge of the Son of God, that [we might arrive] at really mature manhood (the completeness of personality which is nothing less than the standard height of Christ’s own perfection), the measure of the stature of the fullness of the Christ and the completeness found in Him.

¹⁴So then, we may no longer be children, tossed [like ships] to and fro between chance gusts of teaching and wavering with every changing wind of doctrine, [the prey of] the cunning and cleverness of ^[c]unscrupulous men, [gamblers engaged] in every shifting form of trickery in inventing errors to mislead.

¹⁵Rather, let our lives lovingly ^[d]express truth [in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly]. Enfolded in love, let us grow up in every way and in all things into Him Who is the Head, [even] Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).

¹⁶For because of Him the whole body (the church, in all its various parts), closely joined and firmly knit together by the joints and ligaments with which it is supplied, when each part [with power adapted to its need] is working properly [in all its functions], grows to full maturity, building itself up in love.

We achieve personal purity by God’s three fold principles of transformation: Put off, Be renewed, Put on
Ephesians 4:17-24

¹⁷So this I say and solemnly testify in [the name of] the Lord [as in His presence], that you must no longer live as the heathen (the Gentiles) do in their perverseness [in the folly, vanity, and emptiness of their souls and the futility] of their minds.

¹⁸Their ^[e]moral understanding is darkened and their reasoning is beclouded. [They are] alienated (estranged, self-banished) from the life of God [with no share in it; this is] because of the ignorance (the want of knowledge and perception, the willful blindness) that is ^[f]deep-seated in them, due to their hardness of heart [to the insensitiveness of their moral nature].

¹⁹In their spiritual apathy they have become callous and past feeling and reckless and have abandoned themselves [a prey] to unbridled sensuality, eager and greedy to indulge in every form of impurity [that their depraved desires may suggest and demand].

²⁰But you did not so learn Christ!

²¹Assuming that you have really heard Him and been taught by Him, as [all] Truth is in Jesus [embodied and personified in Him],

²²Strip yourselves of your former nature [put off and discard your old unrenewed self] which characterized your previous manner of life and becomes corrupt through lusts and desires that spring from delusion;

²³And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude],

²⁴And put on the new nature (the regenerate self) created in God’s image, [Godlike] in true righteousness and holiness.

Transformation is a matter of spiritual training vs. trying harder – Ephesians 4:25-32

²⁵Therefore, rejecting all falsity and being done now with it, let everyone express the truth with his neighbor, for we are all parts of one body and members one of another.^(B)26When angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath (your exasperation, your fury or indignation) last until the sun goes down.

²⁷Leave no [such] room or foothold for the devil [give no opportunity to him].

²⁸Let the thief steal no more, but rather let him be industrious, making an honest living with his own hands, so that he may be able to give to those in need.

²⁹Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God’s favor) to those who hear it.

³⁰And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God [do not offend or vex or sadden Him], by Whom you were sealed (marked, branded as God’s own, secured) for the day of redemption (of final deliverance through Christ from evil and the consequences of sin).

³¹Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and slander (evil-speaking, abusive or blasphemous language) be banished from you, with all malice (spite, ill will, or baseness of any kind).

³²And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you.

Consider these as well:

God has provided everything we need to live transformed, holy, and winsome lives. Our part is to appropriate His grace and power as we go into training in these areas. – Hebrews 12, Matthew 5:48

We can no longer life as we did before: Ephesians 4:17-24

We are called to over our bodies as living sacrifices to God as a spiritual act of worship and not conform to the world around us. Romans 12:1-2

A believer who’s life does not change is an oxymoron – You can not be a believer and your life not change (Book of John)